Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Therapy, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Defining Moments…

The most defining moment in my life that I can recall at this time is when I found my voice and stood up for myself. There are only 2 situations that I can recall that were the most profound.

There had been only one time previous that I can recall that I stood up for myself before I had this defining moment. I was working at a restaurant in New York and I was minding my own business. A new guy began working and he was kind of a bully. Every time I was at the computer he would touch the screen and order things and send them while I am trying to place the customers order. This had been going on for just over a week. Finally one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided at the end of the shift I was going to confront him. I walked into the back of the house and I saw my friend in the locker rooom area and then turned the corner and saw this guy clocking out.

I approached him with ease and grace and said, hey I just want you to know that I don’t appreciate you fucking with me.

He looks at me half smiling and half like omg, then says I was just joking around.

I told him, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall, you cannot joke with me like that because I don’t know you. Please stop. Are we good?

The look in his eyes, he was scared. He nodded and took off, fast.

I clocked out and my friend in the locker room heard everything and she started clapping and laughing. She looked at me with a huge smile and then we both started laughing. I walked back out to the dining area and the guy and I were walking towards each other and not on purpose. The moment he looked up from the floor and saw me, he took a quick turn and ran outta there.

Over the course of the week I hadn’t seen him anymore. He apparently quit. This seemed to be the first time I remember standing up for myself.

The next most defining moment was when I was breaking up with my ex. I had been manipulated and trapped. There was a point of awakening and I called it quits.

I came home from work at midnight, I knew I would be tired and calm. We went to the backyard and had the discussion. My ex asked if I was ready to work on us. My heart was pounding and my nerves were vibrating. My soul was screaming for me to speak my truth as I stuttered and focused on breathing. Finally it came out…. No, I’m done. I’m tired of trying.

In that moment, I realized my life was about to change dramatically. But my soul sang and my shoulders relaxed. In my head I kept saying, holy shit did I just say that… It was a major step into my authentic self. We had been together for just under 7 years I think.

My soul never felt so alive. I stayed the night and left the next day.

From that moment on, I would discover the Budderflie I am meant to be.

Everyday is a little different but I am 98% authentically myself daily. I say 98% because I am human and sometimes I get sucked into other peoples bullshit. But then I come out and breathe me back in. Trusting in self and believing in self are 2 key components to being authentically you, in my opinion.

I have so much gratitude for all my guides throughout these years. They have all helped me become the person I am meant to be. Thank you for your support in helping me find my voice and believing in me. Lots of love….

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Heal Yourself…

When there is a physical issue with myself, I tend to sit in it and hope it goes away. However, when it doesn’t dissipate after 24 hours I dive into why this is happening to me. There is never any comfort in digging up the past and reliving painful circumstances but if it’s the way to heal, then we must grow through it.

Louise Hay has a book called, Heal Your Body. It is one of the most used books in the metaphysical world. Look up the body part or pain you are having and it will give you what it is affecting and an affirmation to work with. This book I have been meaning to purchase over the years but it wasn’t until I moved to Florida that it was in my face. I finally bought it, just when I needed it the most.

Before I had the book, I would google search “spiritual meaning of…” and it would come up with all kinds of readings and posts from others. I would read more than a few and they would all basically say the same thing. Then I would sit and meditate on it and give myself some reiki love and work on releasing whatever is ailing me.

That is exactly what I did from my last post. Going through all the transitions and being uncomfortable; physically, emotionally, spiritually. I figured out the fears and meditated on them. And to add to the healing and releasing, I go to youtube and find some binaural beats to assist in releasing. Here is an example of what I was listening to when I went to sleep at night.

If your body, mind and spirit are unable to process everything that is involved, like when you meditate on something; you tend to fall asleep and your subconscious does all the heavy lifting. Just as in reiki, when my clients fall asleep during a session, it’s because they will benefit more when they consciousness is resting, it allows the subconscious to work.

This is why I listen to these binaural beats when I sleep at night, I am releasing control and allowing healing to happen through my subconsciousness. And my spirit and soul are super happy.

I wrote this up because I have been so blessed to have learned all of these different techniques over the years and have been realizing that not a lot of people know how to do such things. We all have the power to heal ourselves but it takes trusting in yourself and the willingness to do the work. And it is work. But if you want to lead a fabulous healthy long exciting life then maybe you’ll consider. It’s not an overnight thing, like we all wish it would be but it’s so worth it!

Love Yourself, Love Life, Love Everything….

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel

Transition

I have been here in Florida for just about a month now. The first week was busy trying to prepare my new room and get comfy. Going out and buying things I didn’t know I needed till I got here. Exhausted from travel and wiped out from moving everything around my room 15 hundred times, I felt cozy enough to say I am done with my room.

The following week I went out to find a job and got one by the end of the week. I was ready to start working. I had spent most of my travel money and was ready to start bringing in some fresh new money. I started training the following week and had to work mornings. Mind you I was working at another restaurant at 11am, here I am working at 10:15am. An hour is a difference. So now I need to figure out timing without stress in the morning.

When I official started working it was right before Thanksgiving, I have yet to find a routine or any sort of consistency in my day to day life. Due to moving to a place I’ve never even seen or been to, moving in with my sister and her boyfriend, starting a new job, not knowing anyone besides my sister, my body started to react.

I have been bloated since after thanksgiving, I have been breaking out in hives on my face and my sleep has been greatly affected. All that boils down to is fear and resistance.

I have been through these emotions numerous times and I subconsciously know what to do. However in a state of panic from not sleeping well, thinking clearly has been quite challenging.

Since this new moon and the beginning of December, I have been able to slow down and sit with self. Before bed, I practiced deep breathing exercises and listened to binaural beats on youtube for releasing. That has helped with my sleep along with sleeping with my carnelian crystal sphere, which promotes de-bloating in your sacral chakra.

During the day I have been meditating on releasing old ideas and surrendering. I need to flow down stream and stop resisting. I have been resisting the change and transition and the only reason I can think of is fear. Am I going to make it down here? Am I going to make enough money? Can I afford to live in this type of area? There are so many things to do and place to go…

I am blocking myself and it’s uncomfortable, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have been talking to self about why this is so different than everywhere else, when I realized it’s because I say I am only here till march 1st. Then I’m off on the trip of a lifetime. So now I have given myself, subconsciously a deadline to which, what if I fail….

No matter what life throws at us, as long as you try, there is no failing. You only die once and you live everyday…right?! So one foot in front of the other and let it all go….

Release and relax, these are all lessons that I need to grow through at this time. Quite honestly, all week I have been sleeping through the night. Sometimes I can figure out what is going on with me right away and heal it and then there are times when I am challenged with what is really going on.

This is all part of transitioning into a new book of my life and I am totally grateful for these uncomfortable moments; because I can learn from them and be done with them. It is just making me a stronger, more intuitive and a braver being.

Taking my power back, releasing resistance. Allowing the transition...
Feeling Confident and stepping back into my power
Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel

Namastgo

Colby n Me

After leaving, yet again, another place I’ve called home for the past year, I had to say so long. I left my some friends that I will surely miss. Not to mention my mum’s pup. This was the last time I will ever see him again, in waking life.

Mr. Colby, is getting ready to leave this world and move on to another life. It’s sad to watch someone you love wither away. Knowing that he isn’t in pain, is a blessing. I pray that he just falls asleep peacefully.

My friend, Miss Margret and I had a connection. She is an 82 year old German lady, who loves going to yoga, loves her garden and has a wonderful group of friends whom she has dinner with 3x’s a week. Everyday I would go to her house before work and we would have a nice visit. We would sit outside and talk about what’s bothering us, what’s making us happy; sharing stories of the past and present. It’s been a wonderful venture. And now I told her I would send her selfies everyday before work and call her. We gave hugs and put our hands in prayer and we bow, she says “Namaste”, I say “Namastgo”. We both laugh and hug and I was off.

I really don’t believe in saying goodbye, because that just feels so final. And sometimes it is.

I am so grateful for the people that have come in and out of my life. There is always a reason and a lesson that comes with everyone encounter. I am blessed to understand this and I am capable of seeing both with each encounter. Although it’s often later than sooner, but that’s because there’s a lesson.

I wish everyone I have encountered, via any form of communication, the best and know that I have much gratitude for you.

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, food, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Therapy, Thoughts

Sound Bath

Today my mom and I had an appointment at the Singing Bowl. I personally have not had the opportunity to be bathed in sound for an hour with crystal bowls. I have my own and use them but this time I got to lay back and be immersed in sound. It was heavenly.

Mom and Me

I am into all kinds of different healing modalities. I am open to most things, let me put this way; I have not come across something that I wasn’t willing to try. My mom isn’t versed in the metaphysical world. I try explaining some things and she shrugs, because she doesn’t understand what I am talking about.

She is working on opening her mind and spirit, little by little. She has been resistant to many things I offer to share with her. She saw her friend had runes and wanted a set of her own. I just happen to buy some on a trip and never really used them, so I gifted them to her for Christmas last year. She uses them occasionally. I’ve offered Reiki for her and she says she isn’t ready. I give Reiki to her pup all the time.

so now of course, I am leaving, she is wanting to experience things differently and with me. She found this lady and was so excited about it she scheduled the appointment for the sound bath.

We drove an hour and a half to Cornish Maine, a small quaint town. We go inside and it smells heavenly. She welcomes us in and offers us a rose and holy basil water that was simply divine. My mom lays on the massage table and I take a spot on the floor. She begins with the drum and a prayer. Then we move into our personal journey as she plays all the bowls.

Each bowl is a different note. Typically for a sound bath, people have bowls that coincide with each chakra. Each chakra has a different note.

First Chakra, Root, the color is red and the vibration it gives is Note C

Second Chakra, Sacral, Orange, Note D

Third Chakra, Solar Plexus, Yellow, Note E

Fourth Chakra, Heart, Green, Note F

Fifth Chakra, Throat, Blue, Note G

Sixth Chakra, Third Eye, Indigo, Note A

Seventh Chakra, Crown, Violet, Note B

Everything is vibration and when the bowls are ringing, you can feel it’s vibration. As I sit here writing this my body is still physically vibrating. Not as much as I was directly after but I can still feel it. They say that you will feel the effects well up to 72 hours.

We laid there for an hour of high vibrations as she played each one and then simultaneously. It was awesome. She brought us back from our restful space with the drum at the end and a closing prayer. The minute she struck the drum, my body physically vibrated; because it was a different sound than than the crystal bowls. It was a much deeper vibration. In that moment I was wondering if I was in a body of water when she struck her drum in that moment, what would my vibration look like in the water.

My mom said she saw a white outline of light leave her body. Which is impressive, the fact that she was open enough to allow such things to release from her is so awesome. I am really proud of her. She is opening up. The lady pulled 1 tarot card for the each of us before we arrived. I didn’t look at the actual card till after. Mine said “Walking Away” the number on the card was 27. My mind was blown.

I am moving on the 27th, which was not planned due to the numbers or the moon. It just so happens that it will be the new moon that day and the number 2, 7 and 9 are my numbers in numerology. 2+7=9 and I have a double 1 (11) and 7 tattooed on my wrists.

On our way there I had just purchased Louise Hay’s “You can Heal your Life”. So we were listening to it on the way there. I figured what a great way for her to hear someone so well known in the metaphysical world in my car on the way to have a sound bath.

We were very hungry afterwards and had a nice late lunch early dinner. We were hungry before the session but starving after. I find that after I do any kind of healing work, I am usually VERY hungry after.

Our drive home consisted of pure joy, in my opinion. I had a great day with my mom and enjoyed the healing that today was. So much gratitude.