Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Therapy, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Defining Moments…

The most defining moment in my life that I can recall at this time is when I found my voice and stood up for myself. There are only 2 situations that I can recall that were the most profound.

There had been only one time previous that I can recall that I stood up for myself before I had this defining moment. I was working at a restaurant in New York and I was minding my own business. A new guy began working and he was kind of a bully. Every time I was at the computer he would touch the screen and order things and send them while I am trying to place the customers order. This had been going on for just over a week. Finally one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided at the end of the shift I was going to confront him. I walked into the back of the house and I saw my friend in the locker rooom area and then turned the corner and saw this guy clocking out.

I approached him with ease and grace and said, hey I just want you to know that I don’t appreciate you fucking with me.

He looks at me half smiling and half like omg, then says I was just joking around.

I told him, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall, you cannot joke with me like that because I don’t know you. Please stop. Are we good?

The look in his eyes, he was scared. He nodded and took off, fast.

I clocked out and my friend in the locker room heard everything and she started clapping and laughing. She looked at me with a huge smile and then we both started laughing. I walked back out to the dining area and the guy and I were walking towards each other and not on purpose. The moment he looked up from the floor and saw me, he took a quick turn and ran outta there.

Over the course of the week I hadn’t seen him anymore. He apparently quit. This seemed to be the first time I remember standing up for myself.

The next most defining moment was when I was breaking up with my ex. I had been manipulated and trapped. There was a point of awakening and I called it quits.

I came home from work at midnight, I knew I would be tired and calm. We went to the backyard and had the discussion. My ex asked if I was ready to work on us. My heart was pounding and my nerves were vibrating. My soul was screaming for me to speak my truth as I stuttered and focused on breathing. Finally it came out…. No, I’m done. I’m tired of trying.

In that moment, I realized my life was about to change dramatically. But my soul sang and my shoulders relaxed. In my head I kept saying, holy shit did I just say that… It was a major step into my authentic self. We had been together for just under 7 years I think.

My soul never felt so alive. I stayed the night and left the next day.

From that moment on, I would discover the Budderflie I am meant to be.

Everyday is a little different but I am 98% authentically myself daily. I say 98% because I am human and sometimes I get sucked into other peoples bullshit. But then I come out and breathe me back in. Trusting in self and believing in self are 2 key components to being authentically you, in my opinion.

I have so much gratitude for all my guides throughout these years. They have all helped me become the person I am meant to be. Thank you for your support in helping me find my voice and believing in me. Lots of love….

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Heal Yourself…

When there is a physical issue with myself, I tend to sit in it and hope it goes away. However, when it doesn’t dissipate after 24 hours I dive into why this is happening to me. There is never any comfort in digging up the past and reliving painful circumstances but if it’s the way to heal, then we must grow through it.

Louise Hay has a book called, Heal Your Body. It is one of the most used books in the metaphysical world. Look up the body part or pain you are having and it will give you what it is affecting and an affirmation to work with. This book I have been meaning to purchase over the years but it wasn’t until I moved to Florida that it was in my face. I finally bought it, just when I needed it the most.

Before I had the book, I would google search “spiritual meaning of…” and it would come up with all kinds of readings and posts from others. I would read more than a few and they would all basically say the same thing. Then I would sit and meditate on it and give myself some reiki love and work on releasing whatever is ailing me.

That is exactly what I did from my last post. Going through all the transitions and being uncomfortable; physically, emotionally, spiritually. I figured out the fears and meditated on them. And to add to the healing and releasing, I go to youtube and find some binaural beats to assist in releasing. Here is an example of what I was listening to when I went to sleep at night.

If your body, mind and spirit are unable to process everything that is involved, like when you meditate on something; you tend to fall asleep and your subconscious does all the heavy lifting. Just as in reiki, when my clients fall asleep during a session, it’s because they will benefit more when they consciousness is resting, it allows the subconscious to work.

This is why I listen to these binaural beats when I sleep at night, I am releasing control and allowing healing to happen through my subconsciousness. And my spirit and soul are super happy.

I wrote this up because I have been so blessed to have learned all of these different techniques over the years and have been realizing that not a lot of people know how to do such things. We all have the power to heal ourselves but it takes trusting in yourself and the willingness to do the work. And it is work. But if you want to lead a fabulous healthy long exciting life then maybe you’ll consider. It’s not an overnight thing, like we all wish it would be but it’s so worth it!

Love Yourself, Love Life, Love Everything….

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Mount Agamenticus

I had quite the adventure today as this was my first hiking adventure since Sedona last September. I recorded myself several times to document this but all I could seem to focus on was the MOSQUITOS!!!!

Mind you I have never put myself in front of the camera intending to post, this was just for me, initially. Then I decided that I am going to put myself out there just because. So here I am.

1 of 7 short videos
Part 2
part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Intuition

I woke up in time to go to either yoga class, but deep down I couldn’t figure out which one I felt like going to. I really wanted to run my errands and I had to work at 4pm. So being that I just woke up and couldn’t make any decisions for myself first thing, I went to my pendulum to ask which class I am going to.

My Pendulums

I wake it up and ask, it proceeds to tell me that I am not going to either. I ask are you just being intuitive, and the reply was yes. So I decided to run my errands. I get up shower and go.

As I drive to my first destination, I enjoy the music playing in my car and the sun that is shining bright through my sunroof. I feel as though I’m living heaven on earth. So peaceful and at ease.

I pull in and park my car and realize that I will still have time to get to the next yoga class when I am done. I get out of my car and smell some weird rubber burning smell. I look around and notice they are doing construction. But it didn’t seem as if it was that. I walk around to the other side of my car and didn’t smell anything. I retrace my steps to the drivers side again and stuck my nose in the tires to see if it was my car. Sure enough, it was my rear tire. I decided to go in and get what I needed and then come back and regroup.

When I came back outside I googled burning rubber smell in tire. It came up with all these things that were not something a new car owner would want to hear. So I immediately called the dealership and told them I don’t feel comfortable driving around in my car with whatever may be happening. Greg, was on the rcvg end and graciously got me within 15 mins.

As I sat on the bench outside of the dealership I began to realize that my pendulum knew. And as I pondered the intuitive aspect of myself and the pendulum, I see my first butterfly of the season. Blessed to witness nature and all of it’s creations.

Greg came out with the mechanic and told me that it was a slide that bound. So they loosened it up in the brake. Great, done. I go in to grab my keys and get the paperwork done and this little lady comes racing up to me…

“OMG, you bought my car!!! You know the color of that car is called sandy beach?”

I was slightly confused for a minute and then when she said that about the color I realized this is the previous owner, and how cool because I live on the beach. She begins to tell me how she named her car “GIGI” short for Great Granma. my jaw just about fell out of my skin, I named her Golden Goddess and my dad calls her GIGI for short.

I must mention what this lovely lady looked like. She’s a granma, wearing flip flops and yoga capri pants. She had a tank top on and a hot pink long cardigan and her hair was white, and dyed it purple.

I thought to myself, of course you were the previous owner…I am so grateful that it was this lovely funky woman. She was the sole owner until I purchased it. With less than 50k miles, she said don’t you just love her, we didn’t really go anywhere. She will take great care of you.

I asked her if I can take a picture of her with the car. She loved it. At our parting, I had a citrine crystal in my car and I felt I needed to give it to her. We hugged and we left each other with the greatest feeling. Literally made my day and hers.

Bobby with GiGi

Thank you so much Bobby, for approaching me. So grateful I met you, you have a beautiful soul and spirit!

My pendulum knew something was going to happen that I wouldn’t make it to yoga. And I am so glad this was the reason.

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Gratitude for Mother Nature

Today is mothers day and as I was driving to go pick up lunch for my mother and I, I notice how green everything is.

The scent of Earth permeated the air. The grass uncut in luscious greens. It is so beautiful I thought to myself. I saw a man cutting grass as I approached him and rolled down my window, just to take in the scent of fresh cut grass; which is my favorite. I wallow in it as I drive by breathing in deep.

The greenery is breathtaking and when you are somewhere that doesn’t have as much greenery you can really appreciate it when it comes to Spring. Everything is alive and growing after the cold winters of white.

I would like nothing more than not to work tonight and just sit in dirt and smell it. I went to the store to go buy my mom some flowers today and when I got out of the car I began walking on black mulch. It too smelled heavenly. I would have liked to just stand there for as long as time permitted to just take it in. I did stand there for a minute and took it in but I would have liked a little longer.

The scents of Spring are finally here. The blooming trees and plants are beginning to grow and it is majestic. There is nothing in the Universe quite like Spring. I am so beyond grateful to be able to witness this Spring here in Maine for the first time in about 20 years.

This is my favorite time of year, one because it is my birthday time and two because it is so beautiful to witness the growth of Mother Nature. So much gratitude, thank you Mother Earth for providing this season to us all, so we can all appreciate the beauty you have to offer.