I had quite the adventure today as this was my first hiking adventure since Sedona last September. I recorded myself several times to document this but all I could seem to focus on was the MOSQUITOS!!!!
Mind you I have never put myself in front of the camera intending to post, this was just for me, initially. Then I decided that I am going to put myself out there just because. So here I am.
I understand what I’ve done in my life and being who I am, I see many things I’ve done as not such a big deal. But when you encounter someone whom you have never met and somehow things come up in conversation… Beautiful things begin to unfold in the most peculiar places.
I was at the bank this morning and the topic of me moving to Maine from California came up. The young lady behind the counter remarked about how she wished she coukd just pick up and go somewhere. Its something shes always wanted,to do but has been to afraid to do such things.
I let her know, that its about facing your fears and walking through them. You do not want to look back at your life and say to yourself, man I wish I did that way back,when. Instead, follow your joy. That is who you are meant to be. By listening to your “gut” aka intuition, you can never go wrong. Because at least you tried!
The more often you follow your joy the more you will rcv bigger and better positive things, acts, love. All because you followed your joy. No matter how “scary” it was.
Everything turned out exactly the way it was supposed to. You are in control. Please do not live behind your fear…
I did for most of my life, I am beyond grateful that I can move and walk through my fear. No matter how uncomfortable it is, knowing that its for my greatest and highest good.
I just kind of got settled in my old home town of York Maine. I flew into Boston on Saturday and I will be here till September.
I have settling in and in doing so I wanted to look around for like minded people. So I went on Meetup.com where I had found most of my like minded friends in California. I found a local meetup in Portsmouth, NH for a sound and reiki healing meditation. I had no expectations walking into it.
There ended up being 3 reiki masters including myself, we went around the room to about 15 or so people. We each did reiki on someone, I happen to work on 4 women. It was a mix of men and women.
It was great, I enjoyed helping these women. At the close of the meetup, I went to each of the women that I performed reiki on and told them what I felt and saw. One woman cried as she hugged me in gratitude. I was able to meet each of their spirit guides and share them with the ladies, individually of course.
My spiritual coach/ friend/ teacher/ guide and I did the ceremony last Wednesday before I left California to start on my new journey, she looked at me and said you are about to start your journey over there as a teacher. You are no longer a student. And she is right, everything that I am doing or saying is affecting the ones close to me. For the greatest and highest good.
I am truly blessed to be on this new journey and very excited to meet new people. This is no longer a chapter in a book, this is definitely a sequel.
After some time of not having internet access, I am back. This past Wednesday I participated in a Cactus Ceremony.
The intention for Cactus Ceremony is to open your heart space and allow healing. You are asked to come with your personal intentions on what you would like to heal.
For me, my intention was to heal everything that hasn’t been cleared (energetically) from my past up unto this point. So that I may move forward free and clear, open and ready to receive.
In my life at this time, I was preparing to leave Central California and go back East to see my mom and my step dad (Whom I’ve only started talking to in the past year, after 2 years of not speaking). I have healed all of my childhood wounds that came forward, however there are a several things that have been brought to my attention and in my recent past that needed healing. My intention was to clear that. And I did.
It was a 4 part ceremony. We meditated and spoke of our personal lives and pulled oracle and tarot cards. Every card pulled was on point, more of a confirmation than anything.
As it turns out this entire ceremony was based on us trusting, valuing, having confidence, and understanding ourselves. Every card pulled had the word trust in it. We had set an alter and I had placed my shungite Merkabah on the alter and on top of it I placed a little stone with the word trust on it. Not knowing that the entire ceremony would be based on that word alone. Shungite is a beautiful crystal that assists in purification, most importantly for me, emotional balance. I was leaving a place I had come to know and appreciate with amazing people and I was heading to a place where I was not accepted as I child. I am a woman now and I really don’t have many fears, if at all. But nonetheless I was about to embark on a journey of the unknown. Unknowing of the outcome, so this particular crystal found me and I use it daily.
Part of the trusting, is listening to yourself. When something doesn’t sit right with you, why? what is the feeling? The sooner I can recognize the sooner I can adjust it and work on it and it will dissipate. Awareness is the key factor. If you are not aware then there is no way you can trust yourself. Because trusting yourself is listening to yourself. It really is a beautiful thing.
The last segment of the ceremony is, how can I assist the Cactus medicine in it’s healing. I thought about it for a minute and then it just came out, I am going to create a sacred space for myself wherever I go.
If you are in spiritual awareness you KNOW that you are sacred.
Well, after I said that I started thinking that I can use physical items to help me create these sacred spaces. Then, as if lightening struck, I said no I AM SACRED.
I, at that exact moment, UNDERSTOOD that I am sacred. I can say I know forever but do you really understand? I most certainly do. I now totally understand that I am sacred and I am sacred space.
When we were closing ceremony, my friend was taking us through the closing prayer and the minute she said letting go the candle burnt out. It truly was magical. So many synchronistic things were happening all night and the messages were all so loud and clear. It was beautiful.
After we closed ceremony my friend decided she was going to take a shot. I have not had a drink in 10 years. I quit drinking because my best friend said I had a problem and if I didn’t stop I would die. Then she told me she didn’t think I could do it. So I had to prove her wrong. So I stopped and did the whole AA thing.
I drank because I was running away from my problems. I couldn’t handle them without being drunk. I have gone through so much healing that I no longer have anything that I run from.
So when my friend decided to have a drink, I thought about it. I couldn’t even finish my thought before my spirit guides said it’s ok, you can have a drink. It’s about trust, right? I am so used to being put into a category of Alcoholics that society will judge me if I take a drink. That is my human side if thinking, logical, practical, old ideas and beliefs. I have learned throughout the past couple of years that I does not matter what anyone thinks of you and you just do you. Do what makes you happy and makes your heart sing.
So now the crossroads have become, do I not take a drink because society says I can’t? Or do I take a drink because I trust that I am a completely new within myself?
I am doing me and I listen to myself today! I poured 1/2 a shot of Jameson Whiskey. Every time my friend took a shot I would take a sip of my shot. It was so smooth and so nice. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. After all we were celebrating ourselves and everything that is coming. The new Us. I was truly liberating.
I was able to take a drink because I am not running from emotions or trying to hide and not confront emotions. I can have just one drink if I so choose. I am not the scared little girl anymore, I have grown into a beautiful, soulful woman. I love my life.
Today marks a new chapter for me. Even the generic horoscopes say it is time for Taurus’s to begin a new chapter. Yesterday was my last yard sale and I learned to let go of everything. I jumped in the pool and cleansed my soul of the past and lessons learned.
Today my friend and I, both Taurus’s, did some self pampering. We went out and bought ourselves some very much needed, new flip flops. She got 4 pair and I 5! I was so excited because I was going to put those bad boys on right after we got a mani/pedi!
I have not had a manicure or pedicure for at least 5 years! Today we indulged, much deserved and needed for my new chapter.
Phase 1- Own IT! Embrace your beauty, be confident, be bold, be YOU!
Phase 2- Live IT! Don’t just feel it on the inside, share it with the World! Don’t hide behind clothes that don’t fit or makeup and hats. Rock that body, Don’t hide it!
Phase 2 is what I am currently working on…I let go of most of my old clothing that didn’t fit me and I will be living in my workout clothes and shorts until I go back East where I will go shopping tax free. Which gives me time to figure out my new style! Which I kind of already have but I’m being patient. No need to rush anything. As I need it, I will get it. Hence, my desperately needed new flip flops.
I already don’t wear make-up so that’s easy and I stopped wearing hats because I lived in hats for the past 6 years, while being in someone else’s reality. I dressed like a boy in unattractive men’s clothing and rarely felt like the woman I am. That part of me is gone, I am not that “girl” anymore.