Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Epic Journey Abroad

I embark on the most epic journey of my lifetime thus far on Tuesday. I am going to Bali and Cambodia for 2 months for my first solo trip over seas. I bought my ticket last year maybe around September and have done zero planning of this trip for when I am over there.

I am going to Bali for a week and then to Cambodia, Siem Reap, for 2 weeks. Then back to Bali for the remainder of my time. I only set myself up in 3 places. The first week I am there I have found a nice AirBNB in Ubud, where I will spend the first 3 nights before I go all the way to the other side of the island to stay in a treehouse for several nights. And that’s all that I have booked in Bali. As for Cambodia I booked a hostel for the first 3 nights I am there and that’s it too. I figured everything will work out the way it’s supposed to when I get to these amazing places.

So the most planning I did for this trip was setting myself up for success at home. I have student loans, a car loan, bills etc. The one thing I am ever so grateful for is not having rent to pay for while I am away. I had just moved back from Florida and leaving my stuff at my parents while I am away. And I no longer have a job or incoming money and who knows what will happen when I get back. I have no clue what, when, where…

With all these loans and bills that I owe money to monthly, I started saving money to pay everything through August so I won’t have to worry so much when I get back, in May. Financially I am set and free to do whatever I need to do to enjoy my time abroad.

My original flight was flying through Sol Korea, due to Worldly events I had to change everything around. I am now flying through Australia there and back and for those of you who know me, I have more chances of “Gummy Bear” this way! hahaha

Ok so now comes the packing list. I have never done this before and thankfully I had my sister who has to give me tips. I am not a backpacker, although one day I would like to try, but I am only bringing 2 carry on bags. A backpack and a small standard suitcase.

Packing List:

  • 3 soxs
  • 7 underwear
  • 3 tshirts
  • 3 shorts- all for different purposes
  • 2 pants
  • 1 skirt
  • 1 long sleeve
  • bathing suit
  • 4 tank tops
  • rain jacket
  • bandana
  • 2 flipflops- 1 for bathroom
  • hiking shoes
  • everyday slip on shoes
  • band aids
  • toothbrush/ paste
  • deodorant
  • colloidal silver
  • protein bars
  • tissue packs
  • visine
  • my hair product
  • shampoo/ conditioner
  • Imodium, migraine pills, benedryl, vitamins
  • Journal
  • small journal
  • book
  • laptop
  • camera
  • headphones
  • travel battery pack
  • extra bags to shrink down stuff

That feels like a lot but I am going for 2 months so thats what I got.

I will let you know if that is too much or if I didn’t use anything, but I am happy with my decisions for each item I am bringing.

All in all I googled and read so many blogs and did a lot of research on everything that I feel confident in the non-planning. I have many ideas and listed them so I know where I definitely want to go. But I have no set time to do them. Just going with the flow.

I get asked a lot, are you scared? Are you nervous? How can you do something like that by yourself?

Bon Voyage

The answer is this, I am excited, my nerves are jumping around for sure but in the most positive way possible. This is my birthday trip that I have been talking about doing for the past 5 years, this was going to happen. Everything happens for a reason and in Universe’s time, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to do this solo. It’s going to be a true adventure like none other. I see so many young women and men travelling solo worldwide, there is no reason I can’t do it either. So here I am… following my joy, my happiness and most importantly my authentic self.

I will see you in Bali…

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Therapy, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Defining Moments…

The most defining moment in my life that I can recall at this time is when I found my voice and stood up for myself. There are only 2 situations that I can recall that were the most profound.

There had been only one time previous that I can recall that I stood up for myself before I had this defining moment. I was working at a restaurant in New York and I was minding my own business. A new guy began working and he was kind of a bully. Every time I was at the computer he would touch the screen and order things and send them while I am trying to place the customers order. This had been going on for just over a week. Finally one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided at the end of the shift I was going to confront him. I walked into the back of the house and I saw my friend in the locker rooom area and then turned the corner and saw this guy clocking out.

I approached him with ease and grace and said, hey I just want you to know that I don’t appreciate you fucking with me.

He looks at me half smiling and half like omg, then says I was just joking around.

I told him, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall, you cannot joke with me like that because I don’t know you. Please stop. Are we good?

The look in his eyes, he was scared. He nodded and took off, fast.

I clocked out and my friend in the locker room heard everything and she started clapping and laughing. She looked at me with a huge smile and then we both started laughing. I walked back out to the dining area and the guy and I were walking towards each other and not on purpose. The moment he looked up from the floor and saw me, he took a quick turn and ran outta there.

Over the course of the week I hadn’t seen him anymore. He apparently quit. This seemed to be the first time I remember standing up for myself.

The next most defining moment was when I was breaking up with my ex. I had been manipulated and trapped. There was a point of awakening and I called it quits.

I came home from work at midnight, I knew I would be tired and calm. We went to the backyard and had the discussion. My ex asked if I was ready to work on us. My heart was pounding and my nerves were vibrating. My soul was screaming for me to speak my truth as I stuttered and focused on breathing. Finally it came out…. No, I’m done. I’m tired of trying.

In that moment, I realized my life was about to change dramatically. But my soul sang and my shoulders relaxed. In my head I kept saying, holy shit did I just say that… It was a major step into my authentic self. We had been together for just under 7 years I think.

My soul never felt so alive. I stayed the night and left the next day.

From that moment on, I would discover the Budderflie I am meant to be.

Everyday is a little different but I am 98% authentically myself daily. I say 98% because I am human and sometimes I get sucked into other peoples bullshit. But then I come out and breathe me back in. Trusting in self and believing in self are 2 key components to being authentically you, in my opinion.

I have so much gratitude for all my guides throughout these years. They have all helped me become the person I am meant to be. Thank you for your support in helping me find my voice and believing in me. Lots of love….

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie