Just recently I had been working online doing graphic design. While in the past I chose to only do it for the fun of it and I chose who I worked with so that I can ensure the funness of it all. I had been working for this company for 5 months. It was for a new boutique hotel and they required many things. Sure I have no problem doing these things and some were very challenging but I was open and willing to make it all happen.
I took off a couple of days for New Years Eve and Day. I went outta town without my laptop and realized how exhausted I was and how miserable I was. I hadn’t been able to focus on myself at all. Sure a little self care here and there but nothing like I am used to. It was in that moment, solely because I had 2 days of not working, that I realized that I was no longer having fun and I missed ME.
I told my boyfriend that when I get back I am going to tell them that I am leaving so I can figure out what it is I really need to do. I really don’t like confrontation but it had to be done. Of course the people I work for are so amazing and super supportive so I was feeling guilty for hanging them out to dry but I really needed to focus on self and my future. Not to mention my time was up at the place I was living so I needed to move out as well.
For me, I am one who likes to start things on a Monday and I love when the numbers align. I had come to realize that the beginning of the year started with a full moon and at the end of January was a full moon. I was so excited to come to that realization that I decided that I would leave this position at the end of January and start focusing on me in February. Which gets even better because Feb 1st is a monday! And the full moons for me are about releasing and letting go.
So I claimed February 1st as my New Year and New Years Eve I moved out and went to the beach for a BBQ and a beautiful sunset.
I am typically aware of what goes on in my life and what is happening with me; but during that transit, I couldn’t see anything till I stopped for those couple of days and became aware. I realized I was no longer following my heart’s desires. I was not put on this planet to do graphic design. I do that because it brings me joy until it doesn’t. That’s when I realized I was done and by becoming aware of this I have the power to change it.
My suggestion to you all, next time you feel something just isn’t right, take the time to become aware of why. Become aware of the emotions you feel when you think of what is happening, your attitude towards it, your sleeping and your eating behaviors’. Those are all clues that you are not in alignment with what you are supposed to be doing…which is following your heart. Trust your intuition, it will never steer you wrong.
Awareness is key, it’s the first step to a happier self. Only you have the power to change….
I am so beyond grateful to have been able to take the ride to the East Coast. It takes approximately 2.5 hours to ride there via motorbike. I went with my friend Jason, whom I met in Ubud when I first got here. I left my home in Semyniak and we met in Canggu.
We left somewhere around 10.30-11. It was a hot morning. My first ride following for a long ride. I was excited to take it all. My friend likes to fly, I am so used to cruising; I did my best to keep up, because I most definitely didn’t want to lose him.
We rode through Denpasar and the last time I rode through there I was on a gojek and so glad I wasn’t driving. So today I went, surprisingly I was quite relaxed cruising through the heavy traffic of the city. It seemed like forever we were in city limits, but when we finally made it out I could breathe better.
We took the coastal route as it is less traffic and trucks. But there were still many and had to be careful of their presence. When we were finally able to see the coast the roads got smaller and moved to one lane of traffic. Some spots were open road and then there were congested areas. I have learned to pass vehicles when this happens, otherwise it will take you triple the time to get to where you are going. We stopped half way in a place called Candidasa. Beautiful place, we stopped at a little warung and had lunch. I had chicken satay with rice, the peanut sauce was sooo good! We sat there for probably about an hour, resting our rumps. That was a long hard ride. I had to figure out how to sit on the bike so that my butt didn’t hurt.
We headed out and continued our travels. We rode through small villages, mountains and rice fields on one side and ocean on the other. Breathtaking. I had to contain myself from looking in every which direction because I was still driving.
We pulled over at a temple and Jason pulled out his drone. He got some incredible footage of the temple. Where as all I could get was shots between trees. The Temple was closed, like everything else but you can still feel the presence of amazement. We were standing on the side of the road for probably 20 mins. Our feet were on fire from being in the sun. So we left.
We started riding through the mountains. Wow… I wish I had a go pro for riding because it was so beautiful. The whole ride. We rode through some very small villages, seeing dogs, chickens, cows, pigs, cats, and monkeys. Granted you see those animals almost everywhere but this was the first time I saw little piggies. It was fun to see the monkeys while riding on the bikes. Last time I saw monkeys I was in the monkey forest and in a car driving through the mountains up north.
We stopped at a little spot my friend knew about, a small temple that overlooks a little island. As we pulled into the area, there were people dressed for ceremony. I felt like we were intruding so we kind of stayed back and found another spot to gaze out. It was cool to watch everyone prepare. They were so kind and all smiles. I am absolutely in love with this place and the people and culture.
We didn’t want to disturb them so we left and continued our adventure… We rode through more windy roads and small villages and then we came across this…
We stopped at a few different places to see if any hotel/ bungalows/ homestays were open. The first several were closed. But this is the view from one of them..
We eventually came to one that was open, we just so happen to be the only guests. We had a nice little room and the place was on the beach. At this time the beaches were closed so we had to be aware of the times we went on the beach.
If you are a fisherman you are allowed. The authorities would come around and check in with places and make sure everything is in order.
We were lucky enough that the authorities already came by so we were able to go for a walk on the beach and watch sunset. So we took a walk and we went around the bend and there was Mount Agung…So beautiful..
So magnificent. We found a spot and hung out.
We walked back and the host made us fresh mahi mahi. OMG so good! We hung out for the rest of the evening star gazing. During this time I had come to the realization that what I truly want out of life is a simple life.
Through many conversations and observations I see the Balinese live in the moment. They are grounded and dedicated. Many only have what they need and don’t need more. After being here for as long as I have, living out of my bags, I don’t need much. All I really need is what I have with me. Of course I’ve picked up some things along the way, I have everything I need.
The next big question is what does that look like? What will fill my time? What is it that I want to do with this life? These are the next questions I have been asking myself.
As you know I am in Bali. I haven’t been doing too much because everything is closed down, tourist wise. My purpose of this trip was to visit six particular places and feel the energy vibes as they are sort of like vortex’s here in Bali; supposedly like Sedona Arizona. Universe clearly has other plans for me…
I have been getting all wrapped up in everyone else’s shenanigans and haven’t been focusing on mine. Sure I meditate and work out and eat better than I ever have before. I am doing much self care but I came here for the energy. I have been staying in and not going out very much except for the weekends. I have visited some new beautiful places but haven’t been sitting and feeling the energy as much as I would like.
A friend of mine, Kim, asked me if I have seen any healers yet. When I first got here I went straight to the mountains and it was heaven on earth. When I came down from the mountains I was to go to Cambodia and that got cancelled. I was ok with that, I had to be. But then I started thinking of my Visa and how I could extend my visa during this crisis. Everyone wanted me to come home, ok not everyone, just family. I understood why but my heart and soul said otherwise.
From that point till now, I had been not listening to my highest self. I have been listening to my intuition but that’s why we have amazing people in our lives to remind us why we are here. Thank you Kim for reminding me of what I needed to do.
I found a Balinese healer named Cokorda Rai. I was doing some research and his name popped up a few times. They say he does not do appointments and he opens his doors at 9. People line up to see him and supposedly he only sees people for 2-5 minutes and moves on to the next. They said to get there early. I was so super excited.
As most of you know I am a Reiki master and understand how energy moves and works through the body. I immediately contacted my driver Rai and set it up with him to pick me up and take me there. Apparently, Rai lives 5 mins away from him in Ubud. I am in Seyminak which is about 1 hour away.
We made plans for him to pick me up at 8 am. I was so excited, Kim had sent me that morning a link to Gaia TV- 6th Floor: Expanding Possibility. It was 30 mins of amazing awareness. I watched it and knew I was on the right path. Ever more excited I attempted to go to sleep.
I don’t think I slept but for 4 hours, do to much excitement. I got up and got ready and met Rai outside for 8am. We were off.
When we pull in to the compound, there is only one woman doing morning offerings. Rai spoke with the young woman and showed us to an area. We walk up and sat down on the cement while we waited.
She came back out and asked me questions about my health and where I’ve been, she had told me to go wash my hands and wait. I did as told and nervous because Rai wasn’t even sure that he would do any healings because of corona. The young lady came back out and said we just have to make sure because my father is very old. I said absolutely.
Another woman helped Cokorda out to where we were sitting and helped him sit. Just the sight of him I felt overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. This amazing man whom I have never met is going to tell me whatever I need to know in this very moment and assist me in releasing it. Whether it’s actually him and his mudras or he is just a conduit, either way, WOW…
He calls me forward. I stand before him, he speaks ever so softly and he asks for my name. He asked me what I have a problem with, I told him nothing, that I was going to see what you thought. He told me to sit with my back against him and in front of him. So I did. He touch all over my head, shoulders and arms. He said in my right ear, pain. Left ear good. Right ear pain, no happiness. (thinking back as I write this maybe I was mistaking happiness for gratitude. I am very grateful for every moment I’m in but maybe not happy. Regardless it’s all been released and is gone now.)
He then told me to lay down on the ground. So I moved to the floor where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. He moved his hands all over my body in motions as to unstick energy. Then he sits me up and shows me how to move. He guides me to do it myself and we sat there doing it together. He then whispers in my ear, love is coming, be patient.
We do several more rounds of releasing energy. When we were finished, he looks at me and says every time you look in the mirror, laugh and scoop up your laughter and eat it. You stay happy. I said easy, I can do that…I honestly loved the idea of that. So we practiced.
When finished he sits back down on his chair and asks me to come over. You come back again, love is on it’s way…
I stook up and thanked him for his service and Rai and I walked away. As we were walking Rai looked at me in disbelief. He said he never sits with people for that long, maybe 2-5 mins. You sat with him for 10-20 mins. I don’t recall because there was no such thing in those moments.
Rai then turned to me again and said you have good karma, they aren’t even open because of everything. But he was willing to see you. I had to sit for a minute before getting in the car because of the way my body felt and for the sheer fact of overwhelming gratitude.
The best way to describe the way my body felt was like my insides were vibrating at a very high level starting from my solar plexus and throughout the day went all the way up through my crown chakra. I felt light headed, dizzy, clear. It was the feeling I had after having my first Reiki session with my friend Cathy.
I needed time to feel and reflect. I was hoping there would be a space to do such things but I was with my driver Rai and I was an hour away from home. I wasn’t ready to go home either. Funny, as I sit here writing about it, I can feel the energies within and feel the way I did yesterday.
Rai drove me around, we stopped at a couple of temples and one I got to sit and be with for some time. So I did exactly that. I sat and felt and prayed in front of the temple. Not sure what I was praying for but I felt that, that’s what I needed to do. I took some pictures and we moved on.
The next Temple we stopped at is a famous Temple Batuan (sounds like batwan). I could only see so much as the gates were closed. But I took pictures anyways. It was beautiful and amazing. Just like all of them.
Rai decided we were gonna go check out the waterfall anyways. We knew it was closed but he thought that we might be able to actually see it anyways, even from a distance. So off we were. Sure enough we found it and we drove to as far as we could. Thankfully he is local, so we were able to walk down to where all the restaurants were. In that very moment I was sad that I never got a picture on a swing. When we got to the vista point I took some pictures and Rai called out to me and pointed…There was a wicker seat that is like the swings but stationary. I was totally stoked. I sat there and enjoyed the view in my little wicker seat. Took it all in.
We then decided it was time to head back. It was still morning time. Rai said he was going to take me through Kuta, so I asked him if this little spot in Sanur was on the way. He said sure, I wanted to pick up another sarong (which BTW is pronounced sa-roong). When we pull up to the spot, they were open.
I get out of the vehicle and I honestly have no idea how this happened but my right thumb got stuck in the door. I have no idea, I pulled it out and looked at it…It was getting creepier and creepier by the millisecond. I ran into the cafe and begged for ice. They brought some out and I was almost in tears. I stopped and practiced my breathing, but it didn’t help. I busted out some Reiki while standing there and held my thumb in between my hands. One of the guys was like omg, you need to go see the doctor, he’s next door. I looked at him and gave him a half laugh. Knowing they couldn’t do anything for me.
I then decided to hurry up and look for what I wanted. The young lady came over to help me open them up so I could see all the patterns. I ended up walking away with 2. I got back in the car and we drove home. Rai had no idea what happened. I was still in shock.
I get home and look up what that meant. I mean really I just saw the healer and this happens maybe an hour later???? I have mentioned in past blogs that when I have a situation I usually look it up by typing in, spiritual meaning of…
Short explanation: the will to receive something (help, favor, care, recognition, love, money…) is in a subtle way not allowed to be recognized or expressed
For a more detailed look..check out his link. Pretty on point. Jeez…
So, after reading that and trying to sit with self and assist in the healing of my thumb I realized that I need to be more assertive in my actions and become more aware of these particular aspects…the willingness to receive.
Ok, it’s still early in the day, time to nap on that…
But then a few days later, I stub my left big toe. Oh jeez…the Universe is really yelling at me. That means, sit and be still. It is your ether toe, you spiritual connection. Oh boy…
Ok, so now I have my work cut out for me, no pun intended. Today I sat woke up and watched a facebook live with my friend Cathy. She channels Rosemary. I was inspired by her words and actions so much so that I decided I would try channeling. I let her know what I was going to do and of course I had all the support.
After I texted her I went upstairs and sat upright, put my awesome headphones on and listened to some binaural beats for channeling on youtube. I was in it, I was told that I am not ready (sad face). Instead we talked and I asked some questions and after a while the Divine Consciousness told me to go buy a plant and come back later. I was like, ok.
I went out and found a plant at a place that translates to mighty flora. Flora is the name of my one of my higher aspects of self, pretty cool. Anyways, I ended up buying a Jasmine plant and it has 2 buds on it.
I brought it home and I decided to wait till sunset to meditate again. When I finally did, they told me that when the buds start to bloom I will be ready. Until then, come back every morning and evening. I got so excited so. I feel that my flowers will at least begin to bloom by the next full moon, which is the Flower SuperMoon; May 6th. We shall see.
As most of you know I have been in fear of riding the motorbike on main roads and going by myself anywhere far; on the bike. Some reasons for that fear is my phone not working, getting lost, not being able to find my way home, navigating around fast moving vehicles and other motorbikes.
I have my motorcycle license in the states, but I haven’t been on a motorcycle since I got it back in 2015. Sad, I know. Then some of you know my phone hasn’t been the most reliable as of late.
With that being said, I learned how to roam with Aric back in Saba. He did take me down the main road for a minute. I felt more comfortable riding on the side roads. As time has moved on, if anyone was going anywhere I would make sure I could tag along. More practice and getting to know roads and how to ride around cars and motorbikes in small doses.
In a week and half I have been riding on the main roads with my roommates to other towns. Mind you my roommates have motorbikes at home and have been riding since they were young. I have been able to keep up with them and been enjoying it.
Over the past weekend we took a road trip to Uluwatu and I followed along on my motor bike. (Side note- if you read my last blog, about the flat tires…I cannot believe I forgot to write that I had a flat tire before we even left the neighborhood that morning! Crazy town…) Anyways, so we went on their kinda highways and turned everywhere and crossed traffic from all directions. I was very aware of my every move and all my surroundings.
I made it safely through everything. So with that, I was ready. I decided it was time to ride to another town, alone. I was going to meet a friend in Canggu for sunset. I left way earlier so we could hang out poolside before.
I set out for the adventure. I had packed my bathing suit, sarong, extra shirt. The phone holder was attached to my mirror so I could see my phone, I had my earbuds in so I could hear the directions. I had my face mask on and then my helmet.
Off I went. I made it to the first light and my GPS hadn’t spoken to me not once. I pulled over to see which way to go and I went the wrong way anyways. So I made another turn and pulled over to check my GPS again. I knew the general direction so if I ever felt lost I just turned toward the general direction and hope for the best.
I left kinda early so that I could take my time and not rush. His place was about 3miles away; which if you were in the states would be like 5 minutes. Here its 22mins. All the roads look like back roads. There are no roads that go straight, everything curves off of each other and if you don’t know the area then you are just hoping for the best, like me.
I went through some major traffic centers and there was a certain point my phone began working. I was so grateful. I had already pulled over so many times it was nice to just listen and not pull over. I finally made it and I was so grateful and proud of myself.
My next challenge was going to be driving home after sunset.
Here’s the kicker…we were leaving for sunset and we all took our own bikes. Before I even backed out all the way my friend says that I have a rear flat tire. WTF…ok whatever. LOL..just go with the flow. That makes it 2 days in a row with a flat. I decided to leave it till the next day, So I spent the night out.
Never did get to ride home at night, But I am also not in fear of it anymore. Just one of those things I wanted to get over, but clearly in my time, lol. Cuz I totally took my time with that and that is fine by me.
More adventures await, fearlessly yet very aware and alert!
Today is the day to catch up on my blogs. When I take a trillion pictures it takes awhile to go through them and add all the media to the blog. As you can tell I have been trying to be as thorough as I can with my daily activities. And there are some days I do nothing and have zero pictures.
This morning I woke up and was sleepy. I got out of bed and read my horoscopes for the day. I meditated for 10 mins to set the tone for the day. Then I did some planks and jumped in the pool to wake up so more. I watched one of the 3 cats play with a bug in the garden.
I made myself some eggs and toast; and for the record I only made 3 eggs and made a sandwich. It was so delicious but then I had to clean up immediately otherwise all the little baby ants would invade my space. Not cool. They are everywhere. When I made watermelon juice, I cleaned everything, or so I thought. I came back to wash my glass and there were ants everywhere…I would’ve taken a picture but I was pre-occupied freaking out!
I pulled out the little table from my room and placed it in front of the bench outside; So I could still enjoy the outdoors, aka pool and sun. I literally kept going back and forth with my laptop and pool all day. It was nice, until it started raining.
By the time evening came around I decided to go for a walk to see if anyone was open for food, I walked down the street, not too far away and found a little joint that only did take away. I ordered chicken satay and friend noodles with cap chay and took it home.
I sat outside, because I didn’t want any ants following me into my room. I was going to go out but decided I was tired and stayed in. I went in the room, laid down and watched Ozark’s. Went to bed after 2 episodes.