It has been 11 days since my last post. I took a time out for a bit because I realize all I have been getting on with is all the relaxation, the food (and I’m not even a foodie- lol) and kicking it poolside.
I’m sure even you, the reader can tell me what I have been doing since my last post. However, there has been a few major changes that have occurred. One is I left Canggu and moved to Semyniak; I met Aric at our new pad that we rented for a month. He had been on the lookout for a potential roommate as we rented a 4 bedroom villa.
We arrived around 10am and our potential new roommate came to check out the place at noon. His name is Charly and he is from New Caledonia, which is a french island off the coast of Australia and New Zealand. Aric and I already chose our rooms downstairs. He scoped out the scene and we talked for a while and he was sold and so were we.
It turns out to be a great situation for all of us. We are all awesome and it works. We have been here now since the 7th. Since living with these two, I have started working out again, I rode on the major roads and kept up. I finally went on the major road solo without getting lost and without my phone. That was huge!
So now that we are sort of all caught up, I am going to continue to blog about my journey but more so on the aspects of what is really going on. Between the energies that surround me and how the Universe has my back.
I will write separate blogs about the events that take place as they occur; But I don’t need to share with you all the food I’m eating lol. With that being said I hope everyone is well and staying positive!
February is finally over. Let me just recap this past month for you from my own experiences. Feb 1st (a Friday) I went on an interview that wasn’t my idea, nor my soul’s idea. However, living with your parents for the first time in decades, their idealisms began to seep into my subconscious; making me believe that I needed another job and that I should go get one.
Over the weekend I came to the realization that it wasn’t mine. The interview, the idea was not mine. Monday or Tuesday I replied to their offer of acceptance and turned them down. The next morning I wake up with a locked back.
The following week, almost 99% healed, I slip on the ice and end up with whiplash for the next week. As a matter of fact, it was Valentines Day. I slowly heal from that and by the following week I am 100% better just to begin having car issues.
Literally a week to that day happened to be Friday the 1st, March. My car died. Oh my what a month.
February was a month of deep inner reflection. I honestly feel that it was for releasing my past and everything that no longer serves me now. Thoughts, beliefs, anything that had low vibrating energies were released, forcefully. lol.
Gratitude for becoming aware of all of these things allowed me to step into the light and see things, again, in a new light. In a more loving and compassionate way, with gentleness and ease.
Today marks a mercury retrograde. March 2nd, I declared that this retrograde is going to come and go with ease and grace. I am going to be shining inside and out, radiating positivity and nothing can get me down.
I just created a vision board last night. When I create vision boards, my intentions are to create, what inspires me and subconsciously everything that ends up on my boards is everything I need to hear, see or understand. This particular vision board is all about awakenings and standing in the light, being authentically me. Starting fresh, renewed, Spring awakening!
And spring is literally around the corner. Having my vehicle die when it did, made me realize that I had been holding onto California for what it represented. I had been living in California on and off for my entire life. This most recent venture was for 7 years. The only other ID I’ve had was NH when I got my drivers license. I’ve lived in many states and only ID’d myself in 2. That changed in January when I became an official Maine state resident. And I never changed over my vehicle info, I was going to wait till the tags ran out but my car died before that happened.
So looking back, subconsciously, I didn’t want to want to lose that part of me; the California identity. I already changed my ID and to change my car over it would feel permanent and my identity lost.
It took me till just now to realize this…Thank you for allowing me to spill and let it roll. That’s a huge revelation and gratitude is all I have. Wow…
Now is the time to let go. I release, and so it is. Gone
I just kind of got settled in my old home town of York Maine. I flew into Boston on Saturday and I will be here till September.
I have settling in and in doing so I wanted to look around for like minded people. So I went on Meetup.com where I had found most of my like minded friends in California. I found a local meetup in Portsmouth, NH for a sound and reiki healing meditation. I had no expectations walking into it.
There ended up being 3 reiki masters including myself, we went around the room to about 15 or so people. We each did reiki on someone, I happen to work on 4 women. It was a mix of men and women.
It was great, I enjoyed helping these women. At the close of the meetup, I went to each of the women that I performed reiki on and told them what I felt and saw. One woman cried as she hugged me in gratitude. I was able to meet each of their spirit guides and share them with the ladies, individually of course.
My spiritual coach/ friend/ teacher/ guide and I did the ceremony last Wednesday before I left California to start on my new journey, she looked at me and said you are about to start your journey over there as a teacher. You are no longer a student. And she is right, everything that I am doing or saying is affecting the ones close to me. For the greatest and highest good.
I am truly blessed to be on this new journey and very excited to meet new people. This is no longer a chapter in a book, this is definitely a sequel.
After some time of not having internet access, I am back. This past Wednesday I participated in a Cactus Ceremony.
The intention for Cactus Ceremony is to open your heart space and allow healing. You are asked to come with your personal intentions on what you would like to heal.
For me, my intention was to heal everything that hasn’t been cleared (energetically) from my past up unto this point. So that I may move forward free and clear, open and ready to receive.
In my life at this time, I was preparing to leave Central California and go back East to see my mom and my step dad (Whom I’ve only started talking to in the past year, after 2 years of not speaking). I have healed all of my childhood wounds that came forward, however there are a several things that have been brought to my attention and in my recent past that needed healing. My intention was to clear that. And I did.
It was a 4 part ceremony. We meditated and spoke of our personal lives and pulled oracle and tarot cards. Every card pulled was on point, more of a confirmation than anything.
As it turns out this entire ceremony was based on us trusting, valuing, having confidence, and understanding ourselves. Every card pulled had the word trust in it. We had set an alter and I had placed my shungite Merkabah on the alter and on top of it I placed a little stone with the word trust on it. Not knowing that the entire ceremony would be based on that word alone. Shungite is a beautiful crystal that assists in purification, most importantly for me, emotional balance. I was leaving a place I had come to know and appreciate with amazing people and I was heading to a place where I was not accepted as I child. I am a woman now and I really don’t have many fears, if at all. But nonetheless I was about to embark on a journey of the unknown. Unknowing of the outcome, so this particular crystal found me and I use it daily.
Part of the trusting, is listening to yourself. When something doesn’t sit right with you, why? what is the feeling? The sooner I can recognize the sooner I can adjust it and work on it and it will dissipate. Awareness is the key factor. If you are not aware then there is no way you can trust yourself. Because trusting yourself is listening to yourself. It really is a beautiful thing.
The last segment of the ceremony is, how can I assist the Cactus medicine in it’s healing. I thought about it for a minute and then it just came out, I am going to create a sacred space for myself wherever I go.
If you are in spiritual awareness you KNOW that you are sacred.
Well, after I said that I started thinking that I can use physical items to help me create these sacred spaces. Then, as if lightening struck, I said no I AM SACRED.
I, at that exact moment, UNDERSTOOD that I am sacred. I can say I know forever but do you really understand? I most certainly do. I now totally understand that I am sacred and I am sacred space.
When we were closing ceremony, my friend was taking us through the closing prayer and the minute she said letting go the candle burnt out. It truly was magical. So many synchronistic things were happening all night and the messages were all so loud and clear. It was beautiful.
After we closed ceremony my friend decided she was going to take a shot. I have not had a drink in 10 years. I quit drinking because my best friend said I had a problem and if I didn’t stop I would die. Then she told me she didn’t think I could do it. So I had to prove her wrong. So I stopped and did the whole AA thing.
I drank because I was running away from my problems. I couldn’t handle them without being drunk. I have gone through so much healing that I no longer have anything that I run from.
So when my friend decided to have a drink, I thought about it. I couldn’t even finish my thought before my spirit guides said it’s ok, you can have a drink. It’s about trust, right? I am so used to being put into a category of Alcoholics that society will judge me if I take a drink. That is my human side if thinking, logical, practical, old ideas and beliefs. I have learned throughout the past couple of years that I does not matter what anyone thinks of you and you just do you. Do what makes you happy and makes your heart sing.
So now the crossroads have become, do I not take a drink because society says I can’t? Or do I take a drink because I trust that I am a completely new within myself?
I am doing me and I listen to myself today! I poured 1/2 a shot of Jameson Whiskey. Every time my friend took a shot I would take a sip of my shot. It was so smooth and so nice. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. After all we were celebrating ourselves and everything that is coming. The new Us. I was truly liberating.
I was able to take a drink because I am not running from emotions or trying to hide and not confront emotions. I can have just one drink if I so choose. I am not the scared little girl anymore, I have grown into a beautiful, soulful woman. I love my life.
My dad and I are extremely close, we have lived many lives together and we live on a parallel timeline in this life. Since my suicide attempt and my spiritual growth has sky rocketed since, I have been practicing grounding before I talk to him. Due to the fact that he is Italian and has lots of emotions and happens to be growing through a lot of things.
As of late, things in my world and my dads have been changing, the difference is I understand how to clear, cleanse and ground. My dad is working towards that but he doesn’t know how to clear his mind.
I have been noticing that I have not been clearing, cleansing or grounding before I talk to my dad even over the phone. This is a huge lesson for me because I have been getting wrapped up in his whirlwind. After our chats I have been having to clear, cleanse and ground myself. However it would be way more beneficial to do that before I get on the phone or see him.
So I my mission is to practice clearing, cleansing and grounding on a dime. Quick and simple.
How I normally do it, is close my eyes, breathe out my heart space and drop roots into mother earths heart center. That simple. There’s no reason I can’t do that on a drop of a dime.
As I like to say, “Handle it!”
Just practice and soon it will become second nature. Just like everything we do…