Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Awareness

Just recently I had been working online doing graphic design. While in the past I chose to only do it for the fun of it and I chose who I worked with so that I can ensure the funness of it all. I had been working for this company for 5 months. It was for a new boutique hotel and they required many things. Sure I have no problem doing these things and some were very challenging but I was open and willing to make it all happen.

I took off a couple of days for New Years Eve and Day. I went outta town without my laptop and realized how exhausted I was and how miserable I was. I hadn’t been able to focus on myself at all. Sure a little self care here and there but nothing like I am used to. It was in that moment, solely because I had 2 days of not working, that I realized that I was no longer having fun and I missed ME.

I told my boyfriend that when I get back I am going to tell them that I am leaving so I can figure out what it is I really need to do. I really don’t like confrontation but it had to be done. Of course the people I work for are so amazing and super supportive so I was feeling guilty for hanging them out to dry but I really needed to focus on self and my future. Not to mention my time was up at the place I was living so I needed to move out as well.

For me, I am one who likes to start things on a Monday and I love when the numbers align. I had come to realize that the beginning of the year started with a full moon and at the end of January was a full moon. I was so excited to come to that realization that I decided that I would leave this position at the end of January and start focusing on me in February. Which gets even better because Feb 1st is a monday! And the full moons for me are about releasing and letting go.

So I claimed February 1st as my New Year and New Years Eve I moved out and went to the beach for a BBQ and a beautiful sunset.

I am typically aware of what goes on in my life and what is happening with me; but during that transit, I couldn’t see anything till I stopped for those couple of days and became aware. I realized I was no longer following my heart’s desires. I was not put on this planet to do graphic design. I do that because it brings me joy until it doesn’t. That’s when I realized I was done and by becoming aware of this I have the power to change it.

My suggestion to you all, next time you feel something just isn’t right, take the time to become aware of why. Become aware of the emotions you feel when you think of what is happening, your attitude towards it, your sleeping and your eating behaviors’. Those are all clues that you are not in alignment with what you are supposed to be doing…which is following your heart. Trust your intuition, it will never steer you wrong.

Awareness is key, it’s the first step to a happier self. Only you have the power to change….

With Love,

Budderflie

Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Facing Fears

As most of you know I have been in fear of riding the motorbike on main roads and going by myself anywhere far; on the bike. Some reasons for that fear is my phone not working, getting lost, not being able to find my way home, navigating around fast moving vehicles and other motorbikes.

I have my motorcycle license in the states, but I haven’t been on a motorcycle since I got it back in 2015. Sad, I know. Then some of you know my phone hasn’t been the most reliable as of late.

With that being said, I learned how to roam with Aric back in Saba. He did take me down the main road for a minute. I felt more comfortable riding on the side roads. As time has moved on, if anyone was going anywhere I would make sure I could tag along. More practice and getting to know roads and how to ride around cars and motorbikes in small doses.

In a week and half I have been riding on the main roads with my roommates to other towns. Mind you my roommates have motorbikes at home and have been riding since they were young. I have been able to keep up with them and been enjoying it.

Over the past weekend we took a road trip to Uluwatu and I followed along on my motor bike. (Side note- if you read my last blog, about the flat tires…I cannot believe I forgot to write that I had a flat tire before we even left the neighborhood that morning! Crazy town…) Anyways, so we went on their kinda highways and turned everywhere and crossed traffic from all directions. I was very aware of my every move and all my surroundings.

I made it safely through everything. So with that, I was ready. I decided it was time to ride to another town, alone. I was going to meet a friend in Canggu for sunset. I left way earlier so we could hang out poolside before.

I set out for the adventure. I had packed my bathing suit, sarong, extra shirt. The phone holder was attached to my mirror so I could see my phone, I had my earbuds in so I could hear the directions. I had my face mask on and then my helmet.

Off I went. I made it to the first light and my GPS hadn’t spoken to me not once. I pulled over to see which way to go and I went the wrong way anyways. So I made another turn and pulled over to check my GPS again. I knew the general direction so if I ever felt lost I just turned toward the general direction and hope for the best.

I left kinda early so that I could take my time and not rush. His place was about 3miles away; which if you were in the states would be like 5 minutes. Here its 22mins. All the roads look like back roads. There are no roads that go straight, everything curves off of each other and if you don’t know the area then you are just hoping for the best, like me.

I went through some major traffic centers and there was a certain point my phone began working. I was so grateful. I had already pulled over so many times it was nice to just listen and not pull over. I finally made it and I was so grateful and proud of myself.

My next challenge was going to be driving home after sunset.

Here’s the kicker…we were leaving for sunset and we all took our own bikes. Before I even backed out all the way my friend says that I have a rear flat tire. WTF…ok whatever. LOL..just go with the flow. That makes it 2 days in a row with a flat. I decided to leave it till the next day, So I spent the night out.

Doesn’t look flat but totally is!

Never did get to ride home at night, But I am also not in fear of it anymore. Just one of those things I wanted to get over, but clearly in my time, lol. Cuz I totally took my time with that and that is fine by me.

More adventures await, fearlessly yet very aware and alert!

Blog, food, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Bali Day I Don’t Know…

It has been 11 days since my last post. I took a time out for a bit because I realize all I have been getting on with is all the relaxation, the food (and I’m not even a foodie- lol) and kicking it poolside.

I’m sure even you, the reader can tell me what I have been doing since my last post. However, there has been a few major changes that have occurred. One is I left Canggu and moved to Semyniak; I met Aric at our new pad that we rented for a month. He had been on the lookout for a potential roommate as we rented a 4 bedroom villa.

We arrived around 10am and our potential new roommate came to check out the place at noon. His name is Charly and he is from New Caledonia, which is a french island off the coast of Australia and New Zealand. Aric and I already chose our rooms downstairs. He scoped out the scene and we talked for a while and he was sold and so were we.

It turns out to be a great situation for all of us. We are all awesome and it works. We have been here now since the 7th. Since living with these two, I have started working out again, I rode on the major roads and kept up. I finally went on the major road solo without getting lost and without my phone. That was huge!

So now that we are sort of all caught up, I am going to continue to blog about my journey but more so on the aspects of what is really going on. Between the energies that surround me and how the Universe has my back.

I will write separate blogs about the events that take place as they occur; But I don’t need to share with you all the food I’m eating lol. With that being said I hope everyone is well and staying positive!

xoxo

Blog, food, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Bali Day 21

1230am

It is April 1st, Midnight and I woke up refreshed and energized. Ready for an intense morning (good intense). So grateful for my guides and angels for waking me up with ease and grace.

I usually require an hour of waking up before I am entirely ready to roll out. So I did my morning thing and next thing you know it’s 1:15am. Eka was going to be here by then but he ddin’t arrive till just about 2am. Which totally meant I could’ve slept longer but it’s all good because my angels were by my side.

There were 5 of us; Eka, Ayu, Ervina, Arik and I rolling out. The drive was long, Eka drove all morning. It took us about an hour and a half. We got there somewhere around 3:30am. Everyone kept going in and out of sleep except for Eka and I. I wanted to see everything in darkness and I did. When we were coming up to the mountains you could see the valley and the silhouettes of the mountains in the back ground. It was so beautiful.

We somehow meet our guide on the side of the road in the dark after listening to Jennifer Lopez on repeat for about 45 mins. We follow him to drop off his bike and he hops in the car with us and we continued to some point where we finally parked. We all got out slowly and got our shit together. Our guide Budi gave us all flashlights and we began.

OMG!!! We turn to the road we are supposed to hike up and it is literally at a 85% or more upgrade! I started breathing through my nose and walking very slowly. Arik and Budi were way far ahead of all of us. The girls were struggling, but apparently more than I, Ervina was hung over I come to find out and she is hiking at 4am straight up a hill. Yep that was intense. Every time we would crawl to what seemed like flat road, it was only for 2 steps before it went to a 90% upgrade.

Many breathing breaks were taken and my legs felt like they were going to fall off, but we all kept going. Not really sure how long it was before we made it to the top. Arik and I talked about it after saying that if we saw the road in the daylight we probably wouldn’t have wanted to do it; but because we couldn’t see it except with the flashlight, I felt it made it much easier, if that’s even possible. That was so super challenging.

At the last hill

When made it to the final hill and I stopped for a second and sprinted up. I am not sure where the energy came from but I did and when I got up there all you could see were the stars and the villages’ lights down below. We weren’t actually on Mt Batur as it is a tourist attraction and it was closed but we went to another location to where you can see it clearly and on the other side which I had no idea but was the ocean.

The stars were incredible and the night view were epic.

As the sun began to come up everything became even more beautiful and amazing. It was breathtaking. Heaven on Earth. Looking out watching the clouds roll over the ocean that looked like glass, wow. The view was incredible. Straight from Heaven…

Oh the fun we had up there.

I have this fear of ledges but while here in Bali I feel as if my fears have dissipated (excpet for the lake stuff)- lol. It’s a strange thing. I have this thing about ledges, not to be confused of heights. I have no fears around heights but ledges I absolutely do. I almost fell off the grand canyon as a kid, I’ve been pushed off a ledge I was sitting on about 6 feet up and fell on my back and couldn’t breathe. I went to face my fears in Spain and I was standing on the ledge with everyone else and was looking out when the tour guide came up to me and fake pushed me towards my death; I was looking out over a the city from a castle and it was a giant drop to nowhere land. So here I am in Bali and I climb up this ladder and sit on a ledge with zero fear. I even let my feet dangle. It was so beautiful. Back home I wouldn’t even walk towards the ledge of a waterfall in fear of falling. Maybe when I go back I can try that again.

We stayed for a bit longer and took more beautiful and fun pictures before we decided to trek back down. Everyone was ready for coffee, but me; lol. As we began our trek down we were actually now able to see everything we passed along the way up. We came to a little cross in the road and there were a couple of warungs. They picked one and ordered coffee. She made 5 cups of coffee but I think she had to make one at a time. We were there for a while., which was fine because now that it was morning, everyone was moving about and they were everywhere. Coming and going on the motorbikes from every direction.

Everyone enjoyed their coffee and it was time to descend from this place. Getting ready to witness the actual road in daylight.

Seriously, just look at those roads!! Anyways, we finally made it to the bottom and everyone was grateful. We crawled back into the car and dropped off Budi back at his bike. We all decided it would be a great idea to go to the hot springs. Being that were are here and it was open. We went. No one brought a bathing suit so we all just went in our underwear and it was so perfect for after what we endured all morning with our legs.

We get out of the car and it was 50k each for Arik and I. So we paid and we all got in. It wasn’t what I had in mind at all but that’s why I try to hold no expectations. We all undressed down to our scivies and jumped in. The big middle one was warm, not hot but there were 3 pools entirely so we checked all of the out. There was a small local family showering in the showers when we got here and by the time we were all ready to get in the water the family had left. We had the entire place to ourselves. It was kinda nice, but it’s been like that everywhere we’ve gone since Arik and I have joined forces.

We began to dry off and I had to finally pee. Here it was, I went into the bathroom to scope out the scene. It seemed like a toilet but there was no flusher, no toilet paper, no hose to rinse off, no garbage. So I walked back out and grabbed my toilet paper, handled it and threw away the tissue in the trash near the showers. I tried very much to not touch anything. lol.

So we finish up and shower and get back in the car. Arik is now driving for the first time with the stick shift on the left not right. He was having a blast, they asked me if I wanted to but I said no. Too many people and other vehicles, I just wanted to see what we all missed while driving here. Arik pulled over at a restaurant he thought might be open and switched drivers, So Eka was back to driving.

As we were driving through the little villages I kept seeing spider webs. When we pulled into the busy part of the village where everything is neck in neck I looked up and saw all the spider webs; but this time there were handfuls of those big huge spiders and they were everywhere. I almost rolled up the window in fear of one jumping in, but I knew better- they were on the other side of the web. They would have to crawl around to the other side and jump. oooohhhh gross. I ended up seeing one as big as my 2 hands together, including the legs! That shit was gnarly. I told everyone there that there is no way I could live in these villages. I didn’t get any pictures but they were the same spiders as the video in my previous blog.

By now we are all starving. We found a place that was open as many places are not. We pull in and walk up. The view was of Mt Batur and it was stunning.

Mount Batur; Volcano (all the black is from lava 20 yrs ago)

We sat down and everyone but me had some weird looking fish that was farmed right down below in the Lake Batur. I ordered chix satay and rice with vegetables. What came out was not what I thought. The rice was spicy so I ordered white rice and that little thing next to the egg was the pc of chicken. A different cut and not how I have been served satay thus far, but I ate it anyways. It was fine, just kinda bland and boring. Everyone else was having fun with their fish… ehh. lol

Now I have no clue what time it is, but I am pretty sure it’s still morning like 9am or something. We pack it in once again and now everyone is tired after eating and relaxing in the hot springs. But we apparently are still on quest. Our destination was a temple in Ubud.

But first we had to get out of here. Our drive was long as more people were out driving and everyone fell asleep except me and Eka who was driving. I helped keep him awake as best as I could.

We finally get to the temple and it is closed down to tourists. We were told we could walk to the temple gates but not allowed to enter. So we walked. It was nice to get out of the car for a bit. Puri Tirta Empul Temple. People come here to be purified and wash away the old. These were the only pictures I could get without going in. Still very beautiful.

We left here and headed home. It had been the longest day ever. It was somewhere between 330- 5pm by the time we got back. I jumped in the pool to lower my body tempertautre and Arik decided to order some food now and probably eat it for dinner. I satyed awake till it came and went in for a nap. I was going to save mine for later.

I slept about 2 hours and woke up, didn’t really want to get up but I figured if I didn’t then I would wake up at midnight again. So I got up ate my food hung out for about an hour or so and went right back to bed.

Love, Light and Healing
xoxo
art, Blog, food, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Bali Day 19

Today I got up and jumped in the refreshing pool. Made some breakfast with what we had left and decided to go check out the beach and go grocery shopping.

We rode the motor bikes to the beach and it was hot. We parked and meandered down what would be like a “boardwalk” if you will. It was cool, mostly everything was closed but a few warungs and restaurants. Aric had come down here the day before on his walk and found this place that serves smoothie bowls.

We finished up there and continued for about another 10 mins or so. All the resorts and hotels had beach front properties and the pools were huge and empty. Everywhere was empty. A handful of people were lounging on the beach chairs under the shade but only in one little section.

The local shops that were open had women outside trying to get anyone to go and buy anything. I have been analyzing what I have and I am kind of getting bored with the same clothes, but I don’t need anything yet. If I am here longer than we will see, for now, I stick with what I have.

The beach there was interesting, as the waves brake what seemed like a mile out. So the shore was more like lake water. Not something I would jump into because of my phobia of lakes. Lol. It was weird to see the waves break so far away, all the boats were parked close to shore so when the tide is out, the boats are stuck till the tide comes back.

We eventually made it to the grocery store and Aric had invited Eka and Ayu over for dinner this evening. So we made sure we had enough rice and what not to make fried rice with egg and pork belly.

Fried rice with pork belly, bacon, egg, onion, corn, green peppers

We got back chilled out for a while and kicked it poolside. We bought extra beers and I still had a bottle of wine. Eka and Ayu came by as the sun went down and brought a guitar. I think Ayu left around 9 to go pick up her roommate from work and brought her back over. When they arrived they picked up the guitar and sang, it was awesome. They were so good.

We planned our next adventure, which was to go to Mount Batur for sunrise. which meant we needed to leave at 130am. We planned to do that not tomorrow but the next day, because we would have to go to bed by 5pm or 6pm; well, so I could wake up at midnight.

We played in the pool, played the guitar, and drank until it was time to go. They all left at midnight and we went to bed.

Love, Light and Healing
xoxo