Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Bittersweet Endings

My time here in Florida has come to an end. I leave this beautiful state on Saturday. I have come to Florida with the intention on being here for only 4 months and reconnecting with my sister.

Girls Day

My time here was challenging and amazing. The first 2 months were just thinking too much and not living my life to the fullest. I had no routine and was all over the place. As time progressed I realized this and decided to let it all just be. That time was January. Funny, had to clear the year and decade to move forward.

As the new year began, everything literally began to change. Mostly due to perception and acceptance. I then began to live my life in pure gratitude, again. Work dynamics changed for the better, the people I surrounded myself with changed for the better, my thoughts have been consistently positive.

I started going out and letting loose, what a relief from the way I was feeling last year. And now here it is, I am leaving. My original intentions for moving down here was to build a relationship with my younger sister and work to make some extra cash for my upcoming trip; and to check out the area, as I haven’t yet found a place I would like to root down in.

I can tell you that I now have a fabulous relationship with my sister, I did make some money and I made some life long connections.

I do love the area I live in because it reminds me of Long Beach, CA. Everything about it is so similar. However, I don’t feel this is the place for me and I am ok with my continued search. I know deep down that I will be moving over seas somewhere before the end of the year.

I will miss my people here but once again, it’s time to move on. I made sure to take Thursday and Friday off for spending time with my sister and packing. Then Saturday morning I’m off, headed back to Maine before I jump on a plane for a 2 month trip.

I am so grateful for my time here, wouldn’t have changed anything except learning of publix subs and ordering online sooner!

The end of a beautiful chapter, just to start the biggest new beginning ever…

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Heal Yourself…

When there is a physical issue with myself, I tend to sit in it and hope it goes away. However, when it doesn’t dissipate after 24 hours I dive into why this is happening to me. There is never any comfort in digging up the past and reliving painful circumstances but if it’s the way to heal, then we must grow through it.

Louise Hay has a book called, Heal Your Body. It is one of the most used books in the metaphysical world. Look up the body part or pain you are having and it will give you what it is affecting and an affirmation to work with. This book I have been meaning to purchase over the years but it wasn’t until I moved to Florida that it was in my face. I finally bought it, just when I needed it the most.

Before I had the book, I would google search “spiritual meaning of…” and it would come up with all kinds of readings and posts from others. I would read more than a few and they would all basically say the same thing. Then I would sit and meditate on it and give myself some reiki love and work on releasing whatever is ailing me.

That is exactly what I did from my last post. Going through all the transitions and being uncomfortable; physically, emotionally, spiritually. I figured out the fears and meditated on them. And to add to the healing and releasing, I go to youtube and find some binaural beats to assist in releasing. Here is an example of what I was listening to when I went to sleep at night.

If your body, mind and spirit are unable to process everything that is involved, like when you meditate on something; you tend to fall asleep and your subconscious does all the heavy lifting. Just as in reiki, when my clients fall asleep during a session, it’s because they will benefit more when they consciousness is resting, it allows the subconscious to work.

This is why I listen to these binaural beats when I sleep at night, I am releasing control and allowing healing to happen through my subconsciousness. And my spirit and soul are super happy.

I wrote this up because I have been so blessed to have learned all of these different techniques over the years and have been realizing that not a lot of people know how to do such things. We all have the power to heal ourselves but it takes trusting in yourself and the willingness to do the work. And it is work. But if you want to lead a fabulous healthy long exciting life then maybe you’ll consider. It’s not an overnight thing, like we all wish it would be but it’s so worth it!

Love Yourself, Love Life, Love Everything….

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Cactus Ceremony

After some time of not having internet access, I am back. This past Wednesday I participated in a Cactus Ceremony.

The intention for Cactus Ceremony is to open your heart space and allow healing. You are asked to come with your personal intentions on what you would like to heal.

For me, my intention was to heal everything that hasn’t been cleared (energetically) from my past up unto this point. So that I may move forward free and clear, open and ready to receive.

In my life at this time, I was preparing to leave Central California and go back East to see my mom and my step dad (Whom I’ve only started talking to in the past year, after 2 years of not speaking). I have healed all of my childhood wounds that came forward, however there are a several things that have been brought to my attention and in my recent past that needed healing. My intention was to clear that. And I did.

It was a 4 part ceremony. We meditated and spoke of our personal lives and pulled oracle and tarot cards. Every card pulled was on point, more of a confirmation than anything.

 

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Our Alter

 

As it turns out this entire ceremony was based on us trusting, valuing, having confidence, and understanding ourselves. Every card pulled had the word trust in it. We had set an alter and I had placed my shungite Merkabah on the alter and on top of it I placed a little stone with the word trust on it. Not knowing that the entire ceremony would be based on that word alone. Shungite is a beautiful crystal that assists in purification, most importantly for me, emotional balance. I was leaving a place I had come to know and appreciate with amazing people and I was heading to a place where I was not accepted as I child. I am a woman now and I really don’t have many fears, if at all. But nonetheless I was about to embark on a journey of the unknown. Unknowing of the outcome, so this particular crystal found me and I use it daily.

Part of the trusting, is listening to yourself. When something doesn’t sit right with you, why? what is the feeling? The sooner I can recognize the sooner I can adjust it and work on it and it will dissipate. Awareness is the key factor. If you are not aware then there is no way you can trust yourself. Because trusting yourself is listening to yourself. It really is a beautiful thing.

The last segment of the ceremony is, how can I assist the Cactus medicine in it’s healing. I thought about it for a minute and then it just came out, I am going to create a sacred space for myself wherever I go.

If you are in spiritual awareness you KNOW that you are sacred.

Well, after I said that I started thinking that I can use physical items to help me create these sacred spaces. Then, as if lightening struck, I said no I AM SACRED.

I, at that exact moment, UNDERSTOOD that I am sacred. I can say I know forever but do you really understand? I most certainly do. I now totally understand that I am sacred and I am sacred space.

When we were closing ceremony, my friend was taking us through the closing prayer and the minute she said letting go the candle burnt out. It truly was magical. So many synchronistic things were happening all night and the messages were all so loud and clear. It was beautiful.

After we closed ceremony my friend decided she was going to take a shot. I have not had a drink in 10 years. I quit drinking because my best friend said I had a problem and if I didn’t stop I would die. Then she told me she didn’t think I could do it. So I had to prove her wrong. So I stopped and did the whole AA thing.

I drank because I was running away from my problems. I couldn’t handle them without being drunk. I have gone through so much healing that I no longer have anything that I run from.

So when my friend decided to have a drink, I thought about it. I couldn’t even finish my thought before my spirit guides said it’s ok, you can have a drink. It’s about trust, right? I am so used to being put into a category of Alcoholics that society will judge me if I take a drink. That is my human side if thinking, logical, practical, old ideas and beliefs. I have learned throughout the past couple of years that I does not matter what anyone thinks of you and you just do you. Do what makes you happy and makes your heart sing.

So now the crossroads have become, do I not take a drink because society says I can’t? Or do I take a drink because I trust that I am a completely new within myself?

I am doing me and I listen to myself today! I poured 1/2 a shot of Jameson Whiskey. Every time my friend took a shot I would take a sip of my shot. It was so smooth and so nice. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. After all we were celebrating ourselves and everything that is coming. The new Us. I was truly liberating.

I was able to take a drink because I am not running from emotions or trying to hide and not confront emotions. I can have just one drink if I so choose. I am not the scared little girl anymore, I have grown into a beautiful, soulful woman. I love my life.

 

Blog, Metaphysical, Thoughts

Practice becomes Second Nature

You ever feel like you have just talked to someone and you feel how they are feeling? That is part of being an empath.

“An Empath┬áis a person who can psychically tune in to the emotional experience of a person, place or animal.”

http://www.empathguide.com/

My dad and I are extremely close, we have lived many lives together and we live on a parallel timeline in this life. Since my suicide attempt and my spiritual growth has sky rocketed since, I have been practicing grounding before I talk to him. Due to the fact that he is Italian and has lots of emotions and happens to be growing through a lot of things.

As of late, things in my world and my dads have been changing, the difference is I understand how to clear, cleanse and ground. My dad is working towards that but he doesn’t know how to clear his mind.

I have been noticing that I have not been clearing, cleansing or grounding before I talk to my dad even over the phone. This is a huge lesson for me because I have been getting wrapped up in his whirlwind. After our chats I have been having to clear, cleanse and ground myself. However it would be way more beneficial to do that before I get on the phone or see him.

So I my mission is to practice clearing, cleansing and grounding on a dime. Quick and simple.

How I normally do it, is close my eyes, breathe out my heart space and drop roots into mother earths heart center. That simple. There’s no reason I can’t do that on a drop of a dime.

As I like to say, “Handle it!”

Just practice and soon it will become second nature. Just like everything we do…

Love, Light and Healing xoxo

Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts

New Day New Chapter

Today marks a new chapter for me. Even the generic horoscopes say it is time for Taurus’s to begin a new chapter. Yesterday was my last yard sale and I learned to let go of everything. I jumped in the pool and cleansed my soul of the past and lessons learned.

Today my friend and I, both Taurus’s, did some self pampering. We went out and bought ourselves some very much needed, new flip flops. She got 4 pair and I 5! I was so excited because I was going to put those bad boys on right after we got a mani/pedi!

I have not had a manicure or pedicure for at least 5 years! Today we indulged, much deserved and needed for my new chapter.

Phase 1- Own IT! Embrace your beauty, be confident, be bold, be YOU!

Phase 2- Live IT! Don’t just feel it on the inside, share it with the World! Don’t hide behind clothes that don’t fit or makeup and hats. Rock that body, Don’t hide it!

Phase 2 is what I am currently working on…I let go of most of my old clothing that didn’t fit me and I will be living in my workout clothes and shorts until I go back East where I will go shopping tax free. Which gives me time to figure out my new style! Which I kind of already have but I’m being patient. No need to rush anything. As I need it, I will get it. Hence, my desperately needed new flip flops.

I already don’t wear make-up so that’s easy and I stopped wearing hats because I lived in hats for the past 6 years, while being in someone else’s reality. I dressed like a boy in unattractive men’s clothing and rarely felt like the woman I am. That part of me is gone, I am not that “girl” anymore.

I am a Woman!

I love myself…I am embracing myself

That’s real talk!

Love, Light and Healing

xoxo

Photo Credit: Me, Jennifer Downey