Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Awareness

Just recently I had been working online doing graphic design. While in the past I chose to only do it for the fun of it and I chose who I worked with so that I can ensure the funness of it all. I had been working for this company for 5 months. It was for a new boutique hotel and they required many things. Sure I have no problem doing these things and some were very challenging but I was open and willing to make it all happen.

I took off a couple of days for New Years Eve and Day. I went outta town without my laptop and realized how exhausted I was and how miserable I was. I hadn’t been able to focus on myself at all. Sure a little self care here and there but nothing like I am used to. It was in that moment, solely because I had 2 days of not working, that I realized that I was no longer having fun and I missed ME.

I told my boyfriend that when I get back I am going to tell them that I am leaving so I can figure out what it is I really need to do. I really don’t like confrontation but it had to be done. Of course the people I work for are so amazing and super supportive so I was feeling guilty for hanging them out to dry but I really needed to focus on self and my future. Not to mention my time was up at the place I was living so I needed to move out as well.

For me, I am one who likes to start things on a Monday and I love when the numbers align. I had come to realize that the beginning of the year started with a full moon and at the end of January was a full moon. I was so excited to come to that realization that I decided that I would leave this position at the end of January and start focusing on me in February. Which gets even better because Feb 1st is a monday! And the full moons for me are about releasing and letting go.

So I claimed February 1st as my New Year and New Years Eve I moved out and went to the beach for a BBQ and a beautiful sunset.

I am typically aware of what goes on in my life and what is happening with me; but during that transit, I couldn’t see anything till I stopped for those couple of days and became aware. I realized I was no longer following my heart’s desires. I was not put on this planet to do graphic design. I do that because it brings me joy until it doesn’t. That’s when I realized I was done and by becoming aware of this I have the power to change it.

My suggestion to you all, next time you feel something just isn’t right, take the time to become aware of why. Become aware of the emotions you feel when you think of what is happening, your attitude towards it, your sleeping and your eating behaviors’. Those are all clues that you are not in alignment with what you are supposed to be doing…which is following your heart. Trust your intuition, it will never steer you wrong.

Awareness is key, it’s the first step to a happier self. Only you have the power to change….

With Love,

Budderflie

art, Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Full Moon After Affects

This past full moon took everyone for a ride, at least everyone I know. It was a full moon in Pisces and it brought much turmoil for many.

Over the course of my time herre in Bali I have had only 2 instances where my back went out on me. The first one was because I was in fear of other people opinions. This time which happened during the full moon energy, I was worried about my mom and my financial situation.

I had a guy come to my villa who is a physiotherapist. He was here for a total of 2 hours. My friend recommened this guy and I was willing to do anything because the guy I went to last time was not available as it was on a sunday. She forwarned me about how painful it will be. She was not exaggerating. She told me that she cried and bends you in all kinds of ways.

I have done many things since I’ve been here that were not comfortable at all, so I decided I can handle it. I laid across my bed and he began. Not a massage, it was more like a fascia blasting massage. OMG! I stuck my face in the pillow and screamed, sweat and cried. This went on for 2 hours! There were a few times that I just begged him to stop in tears. In the end it was exactly what I needed to release.

No better time to release old stuff than during the full moon. During which time I was super emotional and felt very insecure. At some point I wrote down all the things I was ready to release and sent it off to the Universe.

After the full moon energies cleared up, I felt a significant change within. I began to see more, I found myself to be more claircognizant, clairaudiant, and clairsentience. My awareness has heightened drastically since the full moon. I am so grateful to have had this experience, even though it was as painful as it was; physically, mentally, spiritually.

I have released so much that it has enabled more to come forward into my life. Even my daily life has changed from running around and meeting up with everyone all the time to me just focusing on what I am here to do. I stopped listening to others’ and what they think I need to do. We all get caught up in that occasionally and I felt like I was in that for at least a month. Which brought me to the full moon. I, again, turn around and do me. I have been having dreams and visions and seeing all the signs that I am on my path. So I continue to move forward.

I have been painting as of late and it’s been quite interesting to see what shows up within my paintings. All the emotions that I was growing through in each painting.

My goal now is to continue to paint waves and watch the progression of my waves and the mood behind each one.

All part of the process, love and light to all.

~ Budderflie

art, Blog, food, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Bali Day 58

Amed

I am so beyond grateful to have been able to take the ride to the East Coast. It takes approximately 2.5 hours to ride there via motorbike. I went with my friend Jason, whom I met in Ubud when I first got here. I left my home in Semyniak and we met in Canggu.

We left somewhere around 10.30-11. It was a hot morning. My first ride following for a long ride. I was excited to take it all. My friend likes to fly, I am so used to cruising; I did my best to keep up, because I most definitely didn’t want to lose him.

We rode through Denpasar and the last time I rode through there I was on a gojek and so glad I wasn’t driving. So today I went, surprisingly I was quite relaxed cruising through the heavy traffic of the city. It seemed like forever we were in city limits, but when we finally made it out I could breathe better.

We took the coastal route as it is less traffic and trucks. But there were still many and had to be careful of their presence. When we were finally able to see the coast the roads got smaller and moved to one lane of traffic. Some spots were open road and then there were congested areas. I have learned to pass vehicles when this happens, otherwise it will take you triple the time to get to where you are going. We stopped half way in a place called Candidasa. Beautiful place, we stopped at a little warung and had lunch. I had chicken satay with rice, the peanut sauce was sooo good! We sat there for probably about an hour, resting our rumps. That was a long hard ride. I had to figure out how to sit on the bike so that my butt didn’t hurt.

We headed out and continued our travels. We rode through small villages, mountains and rice fields on one side and ocean on the other. Breathtaking. I had to contain myself from looking in every which direction because I was still driving.

We pulled over at a temple and Jason pulled out his drone. He got some incredible footage of the temple. Where as all I could get was shots between trees. The Temple was closed, like everything else but you can still feel the presence of amazement. We were standing on the side of the road for probably 20 mins. Our feet were on fire from being in the sun. So we left.

We started riding through the mountains. Wow… I wish I had a go pro for riding because it was so beautiful. The whole ride. We rode through some very small villages, seeing dogs, chickens, cows, pigs, cats, and monkeys. Granted you see those animals almost everywhere but this was the first time I saw little piggies. It was fun to see the monkeys while riding on the bikes. Last time I saw monkeys I was in the monkey forest and in a car driving through the mountains up north.

We stopped at a little spot my friend knew about, a small temple that overlooks a little island. As we pulled into the area, there were people dressed for ceremony. I felt like we were intruding so we kind of stayed back and found another spot to gaze out. It was cool to watch everyone prepare. They were so kind and all smiles. I am absolutely in love with this place and the people and culture.

We didn’t want to disturb them so we left and continued our adventure… We rode through more windy roads and small villages and then we came across this…

Breathtaking
View from a bridge

We stopped at a few different places to see if any hotel/ bungalows/ homestays were open. The first several were closed. But this is the view from one of them..

We eventually came to one that was open, we just so happen to be the only guests. We had a nice little room and the place was on the beach. At this time the beaches were closed so we had to be aware of the times we went on the beach.

Right where I’m supposed to be…

If you are a fisherman you are allowed. The authorities would come around and check in with places and make sure everything is in order.

We were lucky enough that the authorities already came by so we were able to go for a walk on the beach and watch sunset. So we took a walk and we went around the bend and there was Mount Agung…So beautiful..

So magnificent. We found a spot and hung out.

We walked back and the host made us fresh mahi mahi. OMG so good! We hung out for the rest of the evening star gazing. During this time I had come to the realization that what I truly want out of life is a simple life.

Through many conversations and observations I see the Balinese live in the moment. They are grounded and dedicated. Many only have what they need and don’t need more. After being here for as long as I have, living out of my bags, I don’t need much. All I really need is what I have with me. Of course I’ve picked up some things along the way, I have everything I need.

The next big question is what does that look like? What will fill my time? What is it that I want to do with this life? These are the next questions I have been asking myself.

Full Circle
art, Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Visions to Fruition

Here’s a funny story about universe being literal. The beginning of this year I had made a vision board, the biggest one I’ve made since highschool. I had framed it and was hanging in front of my bed on the wall so I would see it when I wake up and when I go to bed.

Vision Board January 2020

I am a firm believer in the I AM affirmations. So I put $$$100 billion dollars on there with the affirmation that I am a billionaire. And if you can see there’s a line on my vision board that says ” It’s living the dream sooner rather than later”. And well you can see the board…

I have been manifesting living in another country by the end of this year and being a billionaire. And here I am, living in another country and technically I am a billionaire; at least here in Bali I am. 1 billion Rupiahs is equal to $64 USD. So here it is I am officially a billionaire. lol.

Basically everything on that board has come to fruition, although I am still waiting on my Black Card; but being a billionaire, I don’t really need it at this moment. Some things are coming and I can feel it. After all who really knows when I will be able to go home. I am not complaining.

Regardless of the global circumstances I am still able to discover new things, go on mini adventures and learn more about the culture. I am blessed. Everyday is new and everyday I have a choice. Stepping out of comfort zones and away from fear, trying new things. Seeing things in a different perspective. Doing things I wouldn’t normally do.

It seems weird now, but in the states I found it more challenging to do everything that I listed above. I feel more free and relaxed about it. Probably because I don’t know anyone; well now I do but they make me feel comfortable.

I just wanted to share the power of manifesting and vision boards…So cool. I have made visions boards most of my life and I have seen them all come to fruition but for some reason this time it’s different. A better different, awesome different, amazing!

Love, Light and Healing
Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Facing Fears

As most of you know I have been in fear of riding the motorbike on main roads and going by myself anywhere far; on the bike. Some reasons for that fear is my phone not working, getting lost, not being able to find my way home, navigating around fast moving vehicles and other motorbikes.

I have my motorcycle license in the states, but I haven’t been on a motorcycle since I got it back in 2015. Sad, I know. Then some of you know my phone hasn’t been the most reliable as of late.

With that being said, I learned how to roam with Aric back in Saba. He did take me down the main road for a minute. I felt more comfortable riding on the side roads. As time has moved on, if anyone was going anywhere I would make sure I could tag along. More practice and getting to know roads and how to ride around cars and motorbikes in small doses.

In a week and half I have been riding on the main roads with my roommates to other towns. Mind you my roommates have motorbikes at home and have been riding since they were young. I have been able to keep up with them and been enjoying it.

Over the past weekend we took a road trip to Uluwatu and I followed along on my motor bike. (Side note- if you read my last blog, about the flat tires…I cannot believe I forgot to write that I had a flat tire before we even left the neighborhood that morning! Crazy town…) Anyways, so we went on their kinda highways and turned everywhere and crossed traffic from all directions. I was very aware of my every move and all my surroundings.

I made it safely through everything. So with that, I was ready. I decided it was time to ride to another town, alone. I was going to meet a friend in Canggu for sunset. I left way earlier so we could hang out poolside before.

I set out for the adventure. I had packed my bathing suit, sarong, extra shirt. The phone holder was attached to my mirror so I could see my phone, I had my earbuds in so I could hear the directions. I had my face mask on and then my helmet.

Off I went. I made it to the first light and my GPS hadn’t spoken to me not once. I pulled over to see which way to go and I went the wrong way anyways. So I made another turn and pulled over to check my GPS again. I knew the general direction so if I ever felt lost I just turned toward the general direction and hope for the best.

I left kinda early so that I could take my time and not rush. His place was about 3miles away; which if you were in the states would be like 5 minutes. Here its 22mins. All the roads look like back roads. There are no roads that go straight, everything curves off of each other and if you don’t know the area then you are just hoping for the best, like me.

I went through some major traffic centers and there was a certain point my phone began working. I was so grateful. I had already pulled over so many times it was nice to just listen and not pull over. I finally made it and I was so grateful and proud of myself.

My next challenge was going to be driving home after sunset.

Here’s the kicker…we were leaving for sunset and we all took our own bikes. Before I even backed out all the way my friend says that I have a rear flat tire. WTF…ok whatever. LOL..just go with the flow. That makes it 2 days in a row with a flat. I decided to leave it till the next day, So I spent the night out.

Doesn’t look flat but totally is!

Never did get to ride home at night, But I am also not in fear of it anymore. Just one of those things I wanted to get over, but clearly in my time, lol. Cuz I totally took my time with that and that is fine by me.

More adventures await, fearlessly yet very aware and alert!