Just recently I had been working online doing graphic design. While in the past I chose to only do it for the fun of it and I chose who I worked with so that I can ensure the funness of it all. I had been working for this company for 5 months. It was for a new boutique hotel and they required many things. Sure I have no problem doing these things and some were very challenging but I was open and willing to make it all happen.
I took off a couple of days for New Years Eve and Day. I went outta town without my laptop and realized how exhausted I was and how miserable I was. I hadn’t been able to focus on myself at all. Sure a little self care here and there but nothing like I am used to. It was in that moment, solely because I had 2 days of not working, that I realized that I was no longer having fun and I missed ME.
I told my boyfriend that when I get back I am going to tell them that I am leaving so I can figure out what it is I really need to do. I really don’t like confrontation but it had to be done. Of course the people I work for are so amazing and super supportive so I was feeling guilty for hanging them out to dry but I really needed to focus on self and my future. Not to mention my time was up at the place I was living so I needed to move out as well.
For me, I am one who likes to start things on a Monday and I love when the numbers align. I had come to realize that the beginning of the year started with a full moon and at the end of January was a full moon. I was so excited to come to that realization that I decided that I would leave this position at the end of January and start focusing on me in February. Which gets even better because Feb 1st is a monday! And the full moons for me are about releasing and letting go.
So I claimed February 1st as my New Year and New Years Eve I moved out and went to the beach for a BBQ and a beautiful sunset.
I am typically aware of what goes on in my life and what is happening with me; but during that transit, I couldn’t see anything till I stopped for those couple of days and became aware. I realized I was no longer following my heart’s desires. I was not put on this planet to do graphic design. I do that because it brings me joy until it doesn’t. That’s when I realized I was done and by becoming aware of this I have the power to change it.
My suggestion to you all, next time you feel something just isn’t right, take the time to become aware of why. Become aware of the emotions you feel when you think of what is happening, your attitude towards it, your sleeping and your eating behaviors’. Those are all clues that you are not in alignment with what you are supposed to be doing…which is following your heart. Trust your intuition, it will never steer you wrong.
Awareness is key, it’s the first step to a happier self. Only you have the power to change….
Arik and I were all packed up and ready to go. We both wake up hella early so we were sitting around for a while. Started getting hungry so we decided to take the motorbikes and find some breakfast.
We found this cute little spot that had a little shop in it. Had a yummy little breakfast and I bought a sarong. I saw it and was like, “yes! Thats the one”. We sat there for awhile just relaxing, cuz that’s what we do in Bali.
We rode back towards the house and dropped off the scooters. Dude was gonna come and pick them up but we were right there so we took them back. It was a short walk back to the villa and we still had about an hour. We moved all of our stuff into the garage and waited for Eka and Ayu to come pick us up.
They arrived right on time and we threw everything in the car and we were on our way. We went to Kuta first and dropped off Aric at his new pad. We got a tour of his little studio apartment, private kitchen and bathroom, both separate from the bedroom.
We said our “see you laters” and the rest of us jumped back in the car and headed to Canggu. We had a challenging time finding the place, we drove passed it and had to turn around. We had to call the hosts to ask for a landmark.
We finally find it and we unload and check the place out. I saw one guy who was apparently checking out and it looked like it was just going to be me. I asked Eka and Ayu to drop me off at the grocery store as it was on their way out of town. It was right down the street so I didn’t mind walking back.
I bought a watermelon and some eggs, water and a pastry; really a chocolate croissant. I threw it all in a bag and meandered back to my pad. It was a hot walk. When I got back I unloaded the groceries and found my bathing suit and jumped in the pool. So refreshing.
I sat down on my bench and I chilled out for a bit. As I sat there I saw someone pull up on a scooter. I sat and watched the interaction with the host. The gentleman turned around and walked toward me and introduced himself. Including a little pup, named Bingo.
His name is Ken from Canada. He has been in Bali since January. He was the only other person here at this place. We talked for a while and offered me a drink. So we had a couple of drinks and hung out poolside. After a while I started to get hungry, it was probably around 3pm so I asked him if he wanted to go grab lunch somewhere.
We got ready and we were gonna go to this little spot called Dandelion. But as suspected, they were closed, as many restaurants were closed. So we rode around saw a bunch of pizza places open. I don’t really do pizza and being in Bali, I really don’t want pizza; Even though I ate mexican food here… I still didn’t want pizza.
We rode around for about 10 mins and passed a greek restaurant. We pulled in and were told that we have to sit a certain distance from everyone. Only a handful of people were allowed to eat there at a time. We lucked out and we were able to sit.
Holy wow…So good and filling. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast at like 730-8am. So I ate everything. I had a sampler platter with everything on it. I even made room for dessert, baklava…YESSS! No I did not eat the ice cream…LOL
When we finished eating we headed back and went our separate ways. It was early but I was tired. I spent the rest of the evening getting settled in and relaxing.
As I sit here writing this I realize that I go out somewhere and I come back and relax, either poolside or in my air conditioned room. I do a lot of relaxing, I feel that that is what life is all about. I kind of do that at home too but not to this degree; But at home I caught caught up with material things as far as being in your own home and having everything you need at your fingertips; As opposed to being somewhere with just a few things. I find myself sitting with self more and reflecting. Meditating has been my go to.
I am just blessed to have this opportunity to sit with self to reflect and manifest in the most beautiful place I’ve ever been too. In one of most healing places, as Bali riddled with healing energies.
A full 8 hours of sleep…I felt glorious this morning when I woke up at 5am. Making sure I was showered and dressed ready to go by 8. I had breakfast at 7, Ketut made me delicious breakfast again. Fixed with tempeh, tofu, hard boiled egg, potatoes, green beans, carrots and more delicious fruit with some amazing peanut sauce (slightly spicy).
I was heading up to my dream spot. The only place I had planned for my entire trip was this treehouse in Sukasada, northern Bali. Originally I wanted to stay for a week and then I was only able to get 3 days. I was willing to take anything. If you saw the pictures I saw, you know why. It’s my birthday and this is really the most special stay for me.
I left Ubud with Rai and we drove 2.5 hours north on all kinds of roads. Went through many little villages and passed so many little fruit stands on the side of the road. It was quite breathtaking. I was soaking it all in. We left so early because it’s a 2 lane road all the way here and if there are buses on the road, they slow up traffic. So we left at 8 and honestly I’m not even sure when we arrived.
The road to get to this place is very tiny. Somehow Rai made it down the first road. We looked at each other and down the tiny little path and he says, thats the end of the road for me. lol. So I grabbed all my goodies and walked carefully down the path.
As I walked onto the property my body began to feel at ease, even with all the weight I was carrying, I felt as light as a feather. I stopped and took it all in, the smells, the sounds, the air…literally breathtaking.
The lovely ladies here showed me my space…WOWWWWWW! Straight from a movie, It’s seriously like a dream, I am very much living a dream right now. This place is like magic. I never want to leave this place, like never ever…
I dropped off all my belongings and went back downstairs to finish the tour. A gentleman, Vipin, whom has been staying here for about a year now. I know why…I mean really. We talked and I ate another breakfast, omelette and fruit and a watermelon juice.
I then made all my calls so that I can go off grid for the rest of the day. I was on the phone with my sister and my phone was so hot it shut off in the middle of our conversation. So I put my phone in the fridge to cool down for a few minutes. I plugged it in and went straight to the water. They have a hammock hanging over the stream to enjoy. So I climbed right on in and meditated. It was heaven. Then I decided it was nap time. So I came upstairs and laid on the outside bed. Not sure how long I was there for but it was cozy.
When I got up I remembered I had laundry to do. I took everything to the bathroom sink and washed and then laid outside to dry. Before I knew it, it was time for dinner. I had the ladies make me chicken curry. So good with white rice and watermelon water.
Today was more for me and getting situated, not trying to work or get big things done. Just be. And that is exactly what I did.
About 730pm the ladies were leaving the property and wished me well. Vipin had already made his way back to his cozy corner and I sat outside all alone on this beautiful property. Taking it all in, the insects, birds, bats, water, everything was new to me and quite delightful. I eventually made it to bed at 830pm; crazy, but I was tired. Wrapped the bug net around the bed and off to lala land for this one…
Staying in Ubud (pronouced oo-bood) has been a beautiful experience. Waking up before the roosters around 5:30 was quite early, as I am still trying to catch up on rest. I went to bed at midnight just being overwhelmed with gratitude and trying to settle in.
When I woke up I went outside to see what it was like, temperature wise. It was humid as it had rained overnight. I went back inside and decided to shower and go for a walk. My mom bought me this citronella body wash and I swear by it. I haven’t had any bug bites since I’ve been here (Thanks Mom). I knew that I wouldn’t catch sunrise because I was slow at moving this morning but I was ok with that. I still wanted to go see a temple in town, called the Water Palace. I wore a long skirt, short sleeve nice shirt and flip flops; Grabbed my backpack and off I was.
The streets of Ubud were silent as I made my way down the street. Women placing their offerings in front of stores or their temples, dogs meandering the streets, shop owners sweeping the store fronts. It was nice, no hustle and bustle yet. I made a few wrong turns, which I was ok with; sooner or later I would get back to where I was staying. I came upon the local farmers market, or just market. It was like what you see in movies (well everything here is like something from the movies, for me), the rain left the streets muddy and trucks and scooters, men and women running around buying selling trading. It was rather large, walking through a maze throughout a building. Some areas I didn’t feel I wanted to go because it looked creepy and dark and musty; so I stayed away. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, meats, flowers; the flowers smelled amazing. I found some watermelon and bought some, being my favorite fruit, for 3k rupiah (.21 USD). I wanted more veggies but I didn’t have a place for them and it was quite overwhelming. So I ate that and meandered.
I found the temple grounds but I am unable to find the entrance. So I walked down the street and found another one that I was able to walk right to. I walk in behind the store fronts and there it is…wow! Breathtaking. It just seemed so organic and unscathed by the world around it. Definitely a place of heaven on earth. I stood there in awe admiring it’s ancient beauty. You are unable to go into any temple without the proper attire. But you can go to the front of the outside of it…if that makes any sense.
I found the river next to this temple and followed it to the stair case that led me down to the river. The water is brown because well I don’t actually know but my guess its muddy and city. Either way, I wanted to walk down there, it looked like a jungle. It was so pretty with nature just pouring into it. I walked down the path for a few minutes when I saw a man doing his laundry in the water. So I turned around as I didn’t want to alarm him and headed back to the house.
Everything was still closed as far as shops and restaurants so it was nice to just window shop and see what everyone was selling without anyone trying to get you to come in. Not that I mind that, but I was really enjoying the stillness of the morning.
I made it back to the main street that the house was on and it looked like a building was on fire. I didn’t see anyone running to it or hear any sirens or anything which I thought was weird. Everyone seemed to think it was normal. It smelled horrible, I walked so fast to try to get away from it. It was coming from some sort of vent in the pavement into the street, I don’t recall if they were sewer drainage’s or something else, but it looked like something else. I make it back to the house and walked inside. Same thing was happening inside the courtyard…I saw Ketut and he tells me that they are fumigating for mosquitos. They do it every so often. I thought that was brilliant, however- doesn’t mean that they aren’t there, just not as many as there would be.
I made it back in time for breakfast. By that time I had sweat so bad that I was literally drenched. I sat down for an amazing breakfast which consisted of a banana pancake (organic)with coconut shaving on top and fruits. I ate everything, it was delicious and I’m not a banana eater.
I decided to jump in the pool to cool off. I meet two great people, Luca from Italy and Alice from Germany. We all hung out and learned about each other. Then went our separate ways. I wanted to take a nap but I had to make arrangements for my travels before I am off to Cambodia. So I figure that out and call my family and by the time that was all done. I was hungry again. So I made my way to the main area and found a place for some more delicious food.
I found a place and sat down. Ordered a chicken avocado salad with fruit, a watermelon water and a baby coconut. I wanted to hydrate as I had sweat out everything earlier in the day. Everything was amazing. As I sat there eating I was pondering what to do next. I had all these things to do back at the house but it was still so early and I had all the time in the world. When I left the restaurant I started the walk home and remembered to go look rings. I saw a shop that I wanted to go to so I went. I was looking for a couple of rings for a couple of fingers. What I found was, me walking out of there with four rings made in Bali by the owners of the store. I left there beaming as they were rings that I absolutely loved.
Walking out of there, now in the mood to shop; even though I need nothing, I went in and tried some clothes on in different places. I didn’t buy anything, I wanted to but I didn’t “love” anything as much as my rings. I’ve learned my lesson over the years to only purchase what you absolutely “love” and so I have been doing just that. I walk out of the last store and I see across the street the Monkey Forest. I laugh, roll my eyes and say, I’m here- lets do this.
For the record, I am not up to par with my photo taking for others Instagram pages. This guy comes up to me and asks me to take a picture of him and his friends, 2 couples. I say sure and proceed to take a couple of pictures. The girls look at them and gave me a fake half smile- more like disgusted look on their faces. I laughed and walked on. Oh these little kids and their aspiring Instagram photos.
Walking through the forest, I was focused more on the architecture than the monkeys. Monkeys are cool until they are not. Gratefully I didn’t have any issues with them but I’ve heard all the stories. It was beautiful to walk through and I am glad I decided to go.
I get back to the house and proceed to get everything done and ready for tomorrow as I was leaving for the treehouse in the morning. That took some time. Trying to pack everything back up, I’m definitely learning what to bring and not to bring. By the time I finish all of that, I’m hungry again! hahaha. The food portions are small and so I eat more often.
I decided to actually do my hair and go find some yummies, after all it is friday the 13th. I found a little spot right on the street and sat down. I ordered chicken curry with white rice and potato somas. Both delicious. While waiting for my food, dude rolls up and sits next to me at the bar. We start chatting it up and he shares his story and I share mine. He gave me plenty of advice about where to go what to do where to stay etc, I asked him a bunch of questions and he gave me a bunch of answers; grateful. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.
I got home and everything was finished so I crawled into bed and called it a night around 9pm. I was so grateful to crawl into bed. when I jumped in, I look down and saw that under the sheet was the american flag. I found that to be quite funny and on that note, out I went.
My time here in Florida has come to an end. I leave this beautiful state on Saturday. I have come to Florida with the intention on being here for only 4 months and reconnecting with my sister.
My time here was challenging and amazing. The first 2 months were just thinking too much and not living my life to the fullest. I had no routine and was all over the place. As time progressed I realized this and decided to let it all just be. That time was January. Funny, had to clear the year and decade to move forward.
As the new year began, everything literally began to change. Mostly due to perception and acceptance. I then began to live my life in pure gratitude, again. Work dynamics changed for the better, the people I surrounded myself with changed for the better, my thoughts have been consistently positive.
I started going out and letting loose, what a relief from the way I was feeling last year. And now here it is, I am leaving. My original intentions for moving down here was to build a relationship with my younger sister and work to make some extra cash for my upcoming trip; and to check out the area, as I haven’t yet found a place I would like to root down in.
I can tell you that I now have a fabulous relationship with my sister, I did make some money and I made some life long connections.
I do love the area I live in because it reminds me of Long Beach, CA. Everything about it is so similar. However, I don’t feel this is the place for me and I am ok with my continued search. I know deep down that I will be moving over seas somewhere before the end of the year.
I will miss my people here but once again, it’s time to move on. I made sure to take Thursday and Friday off for spending time with my sister and packing. Then Saturday morning I’m off, headed back to Maine before I jump on a plane for a 2 month trip.
I am so grateful for my time here, wouldn’t have changed anything except learning of publix subs and ordering online sooner!
The end of a beautiful chapter, just to start the biggest new beginning ever…