art, Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Full Moon After Affects

This past full moon took everyone for a ride, at least everyone I know. It was a full moon in Pisces and it brought much turmoil for many.

Over the course of my time herre in Bali I have had only 2 instances where my back went out on me. The first one was because I was in fear of other people opinions. This time which happened during the full moon energy, I was worried about my mom and my financial situation.

I had a guy come to my villa who is a physiotherapist. He was here for a total of 2 hours. My friend recommened this guy and I was willing to do anything because the guy I went to last time was not available as it was on a sunday. She forwarned me about how painful it will be. She was not exaggerating. She told me that she cried and bends you in all kinds of ways.

I have done many things since I’ve been here that were not comfortable at all, so I decided I can handle it. I laid across my bed and he began. Not a massage, it was more like a fascia blasting massage. OMG! I stuck my face in the pillow and screamed, sweat and cried. This went on for 2 hours! There were a few times that I just begged him to stop in tears. In the end it was exactly what I needed to release.

No better time to release old stuff than during the full moon. During which time I was super emotional and felt very insecure. At some point I wrote down all the things I was ready to release and sent it off to the Universe.

After the full moon energies cleared up, I felt a significant change within. I began to see more, I found myself to be more claircognizant, clairaudiant, and clairsentience. My awareness has heightened drastically since the full moon. I am so grateful to have had this experience, even though it was as painful as it was; physically, mentally, spiritually.

I have released so much that it has enabled more to come forward into my life. Even my daily life has changed from running around and meeting up with everyone all the time to me just focusing on what I am here to do. I stopped listening to others’ and what they think I need to do. We all get caught up in that occasionally and I felt like I was in that for at least a month. Which brought me to the full moon. I, again, turn around and do me. I have been having dreams and visions and seeing all the signs that I am on my path. So I continue to move forward.

I have been painting as of late and it’s been quite interesting to see what shows up within my paintings. All the emotions that I was growing through in each painting.

My goal now is to continue to paint waves and watch the progression of my waves and the mood behind each one.

All part of the process, love and light to all.

~ Budderflie

Blog, food, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Bali Day 11

I woke up around 630am, with some real bad stomach pain. So much so that I stayed in bed all day. I was in and out of sleep and up and down to the bathroom every other 10-20 mins. I drank water, ate some toast, ate an avocado as that has more potassium then a banana.

With the villas being on top of one another and the open bathrooms surrounded by cement I was concerned that everyone could hear me. Then I realized that this happens to many people so why should I care, but when you don’t feel awesome, you at least want to feel comfortable; and that I was not.

I was out in the common area and these 2 girls from Russia come in to stay, I was able to be social for a bit here and there. But there were no comfortable places to really sit so I eventually went back to my room.

I don’t think I even got in the pool, that’s how uncomfortable I was. I went no where and ate only the fruits and toast all day. I went to bed around 7pm.

I share this with you because this is a reality that many people go through when visiting other countries. Not everything is perfect everyday while on holiday.

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Spring Awakening

February is finally over. Let me just recap this past month for you from my own experiences. Feb 1st (a Friday) I went on an interview that wasn’t my idea, nor my soul’s idea. However, living with your parents for the first time in decades, their idealisms began to seep into my subconscious; making me believe that I needed another job and that I should go get one.

Over the weekend I came to the realization that it wasn’t mine. The interview, the idea was not mine. Monday or Tuesday I replied to their offer of acceptance and turned them down. The next morning I wake up with a locked back.

The following week, almost 99% healed, I slip on the ice and end up with whiplash for the next week. As a matter of fact, it was Valentines Day. I slowly heal from that and by the following week I am 100% better just to begin having car issues.

Literally a week to that day happened to be Friday the 1st, March. My car died. Oh my what a month.

February was a month of deep inner reflection. I honestly feel that it was for releasing my past and everything that no longer serves me now. Thoughts, beliefs, anything that had low vibrating energies were released, forcefully. lol.

Gratitude for becoming aware of all of these things allowed me to step into the light and see things, again, in a new light. In a more loving and compassionate way, with gentleness and ease.

Today marks a mercury retrograde. March 2nd, I declared that this retrograde is going to come and go with ease and grace. I am going to be shining inside and out, radiating positivity and nothing can get me down.

I just created a vision board last night. When I create vision boards, my intentions are to create, what inspires me and subconsciously everything that ends up on my boards is everything I need to hear, see or understand. This particular vision board is all about awakenings and standing in the light, being authentically me. Starting fresh, renewed, Spring awakening!

vision board
Spring Awakening 2019

And spring is literally around the corner. Having my vehicle die when it did, made me realize that I had been holding onto California for what it represented. I had been living in California on and off for my entire life. This most recent venture was for 7 years. The only other ID I’ve had was NH when I got my drivers license. I’ve lived in many states and only ID’d myself in 2. That changed in January when I became an official Maine state resident. And I never changed over my vehicle info, I was going to wait till the tags ran out but my car died before that happened.

me and my car
Just outside of Chaco Canyon New Mexico. September 2018

So looking back, subconsciously, I didn’t want to want to lose that part of me; the California identity. I already changed my ID and to change my car over it would feel permanent and my identity lost.

It took me till just now to realize this…Thank you for allowing me to spill and let it roll. That’s a huge revelation and gratitude is all I have. Wow…

Now is the time to let go. I release, and so it is. Gone

I am 100% ready for my new life and new energy.

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Metaphysical

If its not one thing…

This month has been very interesting so far…

Ever feel like it’s just one thing after another? Well, this month has been like that for me and its only been 14 days.

Feb 2 I had an art show at a holistic expo. I met a woman named Rebecca Packard. Wasn’t exactly sure what she did as far as her services go. But this is what she does…

Rebecca Packard- Certified Body Code & Emotion Code Practitioner.

http://www.rebeccapackard.com

Whatever that means, right?!

Well, I wanted to know. She asked me what I wanted cleared, blockages wise. I said abundance. We can all use that, just saying. Anyways, I allow her into my energy field and I started to ask her questions. She was in her zone and started saying words out loud. I felt the need to write them down. By the end it was a rather large list I had written and she looks at me and says, you are released and cleared of that list you wrote down. I look at the list and was like, ok, I’m going with it. She explained how I keep myself safe from allowing those things happen to me again and that was that.

After leaving her, I physically felt different. We described as emotionally drunk. I literally felt like I was buzzed but had nothing to drink. It was really cool to try something different. I have added her to me support team, as I feel it’s important to have people help the healers.

By the end of the weekend I noticed I had a huge bruise on my left calf. Weird because I don’t recall banging my leg against anything. I let it go as it got blacker and bluer.

Sunday night I checked my emails before bed, I don’t suggest doing that by the way, and I read an acceptance letter from an interview I had on that previous friday, Feb 1st. Thats great that I got the job and all but my soul knows what I need. When my work schedule changed to only working 3 shifts a week. I was grateful. I can have more ME time. My hearts desire said we will not be getting another job so we can do just that, self-care and love. That was back in Dec maybe.

The only reason I went on this interview, as it turns out, was because now that I live with my parents, their belief systems do not match mine. Some of the things would say to me crept into my subconscious mind and next thing you know I’m beginning to think, I have no money, OMG! I need a job, all in a frantic. Rebecca helped clear their belief systems out of me.

So when I read the email before bed, I was so nervous about how I was going to respond. So much so that I woke in the morning and my center lower back was locked. Not like sciatica problems, like disc problems. I could barely move.

Lower back issues have to do with security, finances, stability, fear. Needless to say I had to figure out exactly what was going on and I did. My parents old belief systems and my fear of how to respond. Becoming aware of what your body is telling is huge. When things like this happen, that’s what I try to do immediately so I am not in pain.

So after meditating on it and asking my guides for their assistance my back started to feel better, I did also go to the chiropractor because that always helps!

So right in the end of my healing for my back, my pelvic area begins to hurt, which then became excruciating. I was laid up on the floor where I had been stretching my back for the past week and my mom comes in and says, are you ok? Did it get worse? I told her it has nothing to do with my back, but it certainly was affecting it, for sure.

I texted my friends in California, asking for their help. They both responded, saying that basically I havent truly given myself full attention, it was suggested to feed my goddess. Like if you don’t wear lipstick to work, start. I have been wanting a pedi-cure, so i am going to go get one. Self Love, Self Care, Self Pamper. Wine and dine myself, if you will.

Which makes absolute sense. That all happened yesterday. After we figured that out, my pelvic area started to not hurt so bad.

I woke up this morning feeling great. I went outside to go see about moving my car, from all the ice and snow, I don’t even make it to my car and I slip and fell totally on my back. Thank god I had my hood on because I smacked that pretty good.

I feel that my fall this morning had to do with reminding me what I need to do. Feed my goddess. I woke up feeling great, thinking nothing of going through my morning routine. Not thinking about what yesterdays events taught me. So for me to slip on this ice was a solid reminder that the information rcvd yesterday has solidified into a compact state so that I may internalize it.

I look up everything, someone has been through exactly what I have been through so somewhere out there, there is helpful information. This last one about ice and falling…

http://www.meaningfullife.com

In case you have something you want to look up… I always type in

“spiritual meaning of…”

Usually something that resonates with me comes up.

Love, Light and Healing