Blog, food, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Bali Day 2

Staying in Ubud (pronouced oo-bood) has been a beautiful experience. Waking up before the roosters around 5:30 was quite early, as I am still trying to catch up on rest. I went to bed at midnight just being overwhelmed with gratitude and trying to settle in.

When I woke up I went outside to see what it was like, temperature wise. It was humid as it had rained overnight. I went back inside and decided to shower and go for a walk. My mom bought me this citronella body wash and I swear by it. I haven’t had any bug bites since I’ve been here (Thanks Mom). I knew that I wouldn’t catch sunrise because I was slow at moving this morning but I was ok with that. I still wanted to go see a temple in town, called the Water Palace. I wore a long skirt, short sleeve nice shirt and flip flops; Grabbed my backpack and off I was.

Ubud, 630am

The streets of Ubud were silent as I made my way down the street. Women placing their offerings in front of stores or their temples, dogs meandering the streets, shop owners sweeping the store fronts. It was nice, no hustle and bustle yet. I made a few wrong turns, which I was ok with; sooner or later I would get back to where I was staying. I came upon the local farmers market, or just market. It was like what you see in movies (well everything here is like something from the movies, for me), the rain left the streets muddy and trucks and scooters, men and women running around buying selling trading. It was rather large, walking through a maze throughout a building. Some areas I didn’t feel I wanted to go because it looked creepy and dark and musty; so I stayed away. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, meats, flowers; the flowers smelled amazing. I found some watermelon and bought some, being my favorite fruit, for 3k rupiah (.21 USD). I wanted more veggies but I didn’t have a place for them and it was quite overwhelming. So I ate that and meandered.

I found the temple grounds but I am unable to find the entrance. So I walked down the street and found another one that I was able to walk right to. I walk in behind the store fronts and there it is…wow! Breathtaking. It just seemed so organic and unscathed by the world around it. Definitely a place of heaven on earth. I stood there in awe admiring it’s ancient beauty. You are unable to go into any temple without the proper attire. But you can go to the front of the outside of it…if that makes any sense.

I found the river next to this temple and followed it to the stair case that led me down to the river. The water is brown because well I don’t actually know but my guess its muddy and city. Either way, I wanted to walk down there, it looked like a jungle. It was so pretty with nature just pouring into it. I walked down the path for a few minutes when I saw a man doing his laundry in the water. So I turned around as I didn’t want to alarm him and headed back to the house.

Everything was still closed as far as shops and restaurants so it was nice to just window shop and see what everyone was selling without anyone trying to get you to come in. Not that I mind that, but I was really enjoying the stillness of the morning.

I made it back to the main street that the house was on and it looked like a building was on fire. I didn’t see anyone running to it or hear any sirens or anything which I thought was weird. Everyone seemed to think it was normal. It smelled horrible, I walked so fast to try to get away from it. It was coming from some sort of vent in the pavement into the street, I don’t recall if they were sewer drainage’s or something else, but it looked like something else. I make it back to the house and walked inside. Same thing was happening inside the courtyard…I saw Ketut and he tells me that they are fumigating for mosquitos. They do it every so often. I thought that was brilliant, however- doesn’t mean that they aren’t there, just not as many as there would be.

I made it back in time for breakfast. By that time I had sweat so bad that I was literally drenched. I sat down for an amazing breakfast which consisted of a banana pancake (organic)with coconut shaving on top and fruits. I ate everything, it was delicious and I’m not a banana eater.

I decided to jump in the pool to cool off. I meet two great people, Luca from Italy and Alice from Germany. We all hung out and learned about each other. Then went our separate ways. I wanted to take a nap but I had to make arrangements for my travels before I am off to Cambodia. So I figure that out and call my family and by the time that was all done. I was hungry again. So I made my way to the main area and found a place for some more delicious food.

Silver and Gold

I found a place and sat down. Ordered a chicken avocado salad with fruit, a watermelon water and a baby coconut. I wanted to hydrate as I had sweat out everything earlier in the day. Everything was amazing. As I sat there eating I was pondering what to do next. I had all these things to do back at the house but it was still so early and I had all the time in the world. When I left the restaurant I started the walk home and remembered to go look rings. I saw a shop that I wanted to go to so I went. I was looking for a couple of rings for a couple of fingers. What I found was, me walking out of there with four rings made in Bali by the owners of the store. I left there beaming as they were rings that I absolutely loved.

Walking out of there, now in the mood to shop; even though I need nothing, I went in and tried some clothes on in different places. I didn’t buy anything, I wanted to but I didn’t “love” anything as much as my rings. I’ve learned my lesson over the years to only purchase what you absolutely “love” and so I have been doing just that. I walk out of the last store and I see across the street the Monkey Forest. I laugh, roll my eyes and say, I’m here- lets do this.

Ubud

For the record, I am not up to par with my photo taking for others Instagram pages. This guy comes up to me and asks me to take a picture of him and his friends, 2 couples. I say sure and proceed to take a couple of pictures. The girls look at them and gave me a fake half smile- more like disgusted look on their faces. I laughed and walked on. Oh these little kids and their aspiring Instagram photos.

Walking through the forest, I was focused more on the architecture than the monkeys. Monkeys are cool until they are not. Gratefully I didn’t have any issues with them but I’ve heard all the stories. It was beautiful to walk through and I am glad I decided to go.

I get back to the house and proceed to get everything done and ready for tomorrow as I was leaving for the treehouse in the morning. That took some time. Trying to pack everything back up, I’m definitely learning what to bring and not to bring. By the time I finish all of that, I’m hungry again! hahaha. The food portions are small and so I eat more often.

I decided to actually do my hair and go find some yummies, after all it is friday the 13th. I found a little spot right on the street and sat down. I ordered chicken curry with white rice and potato somas. Both delicious. While waiting for my food, dude rolls up and sits next to me at the bar. We start chatting it up and he shares his story and I share mine. He gave me plenty of advice about where to go what to do where to stay etc, I asked him a bunch of questions and he gave me a bunch of answers; grateful. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

Yes I brought my own pillowcase. And yes it is batman…

I got home and everything was finished so I crawled into bed and called it a night around 9pm. I was so grateful to crawl into bed. when I jumped in, I look down and saw that under the sheet was the american flag. I found that to be quite funny and on that note, out I went.

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Spring Awakening

February is finally over. Let me just recap this past month for you from my own experiences. Feb 1st (a Friday) I went on an interview that wasn’t my idea, nor my soul’s idea. However, living with your parents for the first time in decades, their idealisms began to seep into my subconscious; making me believe that I needed another job and that I should go get one.

Over the weekend I came to the realization that it wasn’t mine. The interview, the idea was not mine. Monday or Tuesday I replied to their offer of acceptance and turned them down. The next morning I wake up with a locked back.

The following week, almost 99% healed, I slip on the ice and end up with whiplash for the next week. As a matter of fact, it was Valentines Day. I slowly heal from that and by the following week I am 100% better just to begin having car issues.

Literally a week to that day happened to be Friday the 1st, March. My car died. Oh my what a month.

February was a month of deep inner reflection. I honestly feel that it was for releasing my past and everything that no longer serves me now. Thoughts, beliefs, anything that had low vibrating energies were released, forcefully. lol.

Gratitude for becoming aware of all of these things allowed me to step into the light and see things, again, in a new light. In a more loving and compassionate way, with gentleness and ease.

Today marks a mercury retrograde. March 2nd, I declared that this retrograde is going to come and go with ease and grace. I am going to be shining inside and out, radiating positivity and nothing can get me down.

I just created a vision board last night. When I create vision boards, my intentions are to create, what inspires me and subconsciously everything that ends up on my boards is everything I need to hear, see or understand. This particular vision board is all about awakenings and standing in the light, being authentically me. Starting fresh, renewed, Spring awakening!

vision board
Spring Awakening 2019

And spring is literally around the corner. Having my vehicle die when it did, made me realize that I had been holding onto California for what it represented. I had been living in California on and off for my entire life. This most recent venture was for 7 years. The only other ID I’ve had was NH when I got my drivers license. I’ve lived in many states and only ID’d myself in 2. That changed in January when I became an official Maine state resident. And I never changed over my vehicle info, I was going to wait till the tags ran out but my car died before that happened.

me and my car
Just outside of Chaco Canyon New Mexico. September 2018

So looking back, subconsciously, I didn’t want to want to lose that part of me; the California identity. I already changed my ID and to change my car over it would feel permanent and my identity lost.

It took me till just now to realize this…Thank you for allowing me to spill and let it roll. That’s a huge revelation and gratitude is all I have. Wow…

Now is the time to let go. I release, and so it is. Gone

I am 100% ready for my new life and new energy.

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Still February?

As we near the end of February, if it wasn’t enough for my back to go out, to acquire severe whiplash and heal from them both immediately as the next is to begin, my car starts to test me. Hahahahaha…

Today I feel great physically,  100%. I decide to run one errand outside of town about 40 mins away when I find myself down memory lane; In Arkansas.

Arkansas- I was driving cross country moving from California to Maine and I find myself in the beautiful mountains of Arkansas, Ouachita National Forest. I wanted to go hiking after meandering through Sedona and Chaco Canyon. As I drive into the forest my 2hrs deep, off the beaten path, my car starts to hiccup. 4 hours later somehow (without navigation because my phone’s decided not to work my entire trip) I make it to my hotel where I can sit and think about what is going on. I met a man who said it was a fuel injector. Long story and $400 later, I make it home.

Needless to say, today has been a long day. Great news however, I made 3 new friends, Chris (told me that it is not fuel injector, but a mass air thingy. Basically he told me I could clean it myself and see how that works before bringing it in), Troy from Napa Auto Parts in Eliot Maine (super friendly and allowed me to work on my car in the parking lot and even called places locally to get me in for an oil change. Because as I was cleaning out the mass air flow sensor I noticed I was due for an oil change.), which leads me to Dan over at Pleasant Street Garage. What a nice solid man. All 3 of these men not only assisted me with my vehicle in way or another, they made me feel better about my situation.

I do understand that everything happens for a reason, I really do, but my oh my. When you depend on your vehicle as much as you do to run awesomely to then not…Your stress level sky rockets, no doubt. It’s very nerve-racking, like, OMG get me off this road and someone fix it for free immediately! HAHAHAHAHA

Slow down and relax…

Park your vehicle, take a hot shower, have a very large glass of wine and binge watch your fav tv show…

AHHHHHHHHHH

Not gonna lie, grateful today is about to end and I can start over tomorrow. Who knows, my car might be fine after its makeover from today!

So grateful for today and learning how to just relax and breathe into it. Which I owe to yoga and floating, breathing that is. Deep breathing.

I got this…whatever the outcome, I got this!

Love, Light and Healing

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, Therapy, Thoughts

Healing

Today is now the 21st day of the month. My last post, I had slipped and fell on the ice. The next day I woke up with a severe case of whiplash. So very painful. I couldn’t go to work and I couldn’t eat. I some how managed to get to the chiropractor and a 30 min massage.

Both allowing the healing process to begin. I relaxed in bed for the next couple of days listening to binaural beats and using my crystal bowl for sound healing on myself. I attempted to take 2 epsom salt baths only to find that there is a leak in the downstairs kitchen from the bath itself, oh boy.

healing
Me trying to assist my healing, listening to cell regeneration binaural beats and icing my swollen neck.

After sitting in pain and meditating and healing for several days, I looked up a floating tanks. Now I can’t take baths at home and my neck needs to be free and released. I found a semi local place, Flote. In North Hampton, NH.

I make an appointment and didn’t realize I would be driving there in a blizzard, which made my neck and shoulders more tense. I make it there in one pc and head on in for my first floating experience.

They offer you a donut shaped foam ring to rest your head on or you can go without. I went for the first half with it under my head and decided to take it out. My head just need to be free. It felt so much better without.

 

What is flotation?

Floating (or floatation therapy) is a practice that involves a small room or pod filled with a foot of water and over a thousand pounds of epsom salt. The high salt content allows you to be completely buoyant as you lay in the water, and creates an experience of deep relaxation.  The environment is quiet and dark, and sensory input is minimized, allowing one to experience a profound level of relaxation. It is a unique practice that provides a long list of mental, physical and spiritual benefits that compound over time with regular sessions.

I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. I went from feeling like 65% to 85-90% after my session. It is an hour long at Seacoast Flote, not sure how others are working theres. I was able to work the next evening, although not to my full capacity, nonetheless, I did not need to call out, again.

I went one more time after and feel 95%. I have 2 more sessions I will be going to. If you are curious about it, check out this website…Although this is for my area, it will give you an idea. It’s worth trying, especially if you’ve exhausted all other options.

https://www.seacoastflote.com/

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Cactus Ceremony

After some time of not having internet access, I am back. This past Wednesday I participated in a Cactus Ceremony.

The intention for Cactus Ceremony is to open your heart space and allow healing. You are asked to come with your personal intentions on what you would like to heal.

For me, my intention was to heal everything that hasn’t been cleared (energetically) from my past up unto this point. So that I may move forward free and clear, open and ready to receive.

In my life at this time, I was preparing to leave Central California and go back East to see my mom and my step dad (Whom I’ve only started talking to in the past year, after 2 years of not speaking). I have healed all of my childhood wounds that came forward, however there are a several things that have been brought to my attention and in my recent past that needed healing. My intention was to clear that. And I did.

It was a 4 part ceremony. We meditated and spoke of our personal lives and pulled oracle and tarot cards. Every card pulled was on point, more of a confirmation than anything.

 

0620181915
Our Alter

 

As it turns out this entire ceremony was based on us trusting, valuing, having confidence, and understanding ourselves. Every card pulled had the word trust in it. We had set an alter and I had placed my shungite Merkabah on the alter and on top of it I placed a little stone with the word trust on it. Not knowing that the entire ceremony would be based on that word alone. Shungite is a beautiful crystal that assists in purification, most importantly for me, emotional balance. I was leaving a place I had come to know and appreciate with amazing people and I was heading to a place where I was not accepted as I child. I am a woman now and I really don’t have many fears, if at all. But nonetheless I was about to embark on a journey of the unknown. Unknowing of the outcome, so this particular crystal found me and I use it daily.

Part of the trusting, is listening to yourself. When something doesn’t sit right with you, why? what is the feeling? The sooner I can recognize the sooner I can adjust it and work on it and it will dissipate. Awareness is the key factor. If you are not aware then there is no way you can trust yourself. Because trusting yourself is listening to yourself. It really is a beautiful thing.

The last segment of the ceremony is, how can I assist the Cactus medicine in it’s healing. I thought about it for a minute and then it just came out, I am going to create a sacred space for myself wherever I go.

If you are in spiritual awareness you KNOW that you are sacred.

Well, after I said that I started thinking that I can use physical items to help me create these sacred spaces. Then, as if lightening struck, I said no I AM SACRED.

I, at that exact moment, UNDERSTOOD that I am sacred. I can say I know forever but do you really understand? I most certainly do. I now totally understand that I am sacred and I am sacred space.

When we were closing ceremony, my friend was taking us through the closing prayer and the minute she said letting go the candle burnt out. It truly was magical. So many synchronistic things were happening all night and the messages were all so loud and clear. It was beautiful.

After we closed ceremony my friend decided she was going to take a shot. I have not had a drink in 10 years. I quit drinking because my best friend said I had a problem and if I didn’t stop I would die. Then she told me she didn’t think I could do it. So I had to prove her wrong. So I stopped and did the whole AA thing.

I drank because I was running away from my problems. I couldn’t handle them without being drunk. I have gone through so much healing that I no longer have anything that I run from.

So when my friend decided to have a drink, I thought about it. I couldn’t even finish my thought before my spirit guides said it’s ok, you can have a drink. It’s about trust, right? I am so used to being put into a category of Alcoholics that society will judge me if I take a drink. That is my human side if thinking, logical, practical, old ideas and beliefs. I have learned throughout the past couple of years that I does not matter what anyone thinks of you and you just do you. Do what makes you happy and makes your heart sing.

So now the crossroads have become, do I not take a drink because society says I can’t? Or do I take a drink because I trust that I am a completely new within myself?

I am doing me and I listen to myself today! I poured 1/2 a shot of Jameson Whiskey. Every time my friend took a shot I would take a sip of my shot. It was so smooth and so nice. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. After all we were celebrating ourselves and everything that is coming. The new Us. I was truly liberating.

I was able to take a drink because I am not running from emotions or trying to hide and not confront emotions. I can have just one drink if I so choose. I am not the scared little girl anymore, I have grown into a beautiful, soulful woman. I love my life.