Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel

Transition

I have been here in Florida for just about a month now. The first week was busy trying to prepare my new room and get comfy. Going out and buying things I didn’t know I needed till I got here. Exhausted from travel and wiped out from moving everything around my room 15 hundred times, I felt cozy enough to say I am done with my room.

The following week I went out to find a job and got one by the end of the week. I was ready to start working. I had spent most of my travel money and was ready to start bringing in some fresh new money. I started training the following week and had to work mornings. Mind you I was working at another restaurant at 11am, here I am working at 10:15am. An hour is a difference. So now I need to figure out timing without stress in the morning.

When I official started working it was right before Thanksgiving, I have yet to find a routine or any sort of consistency in my day to day life. Due to moving to a place I’ve never even seen or been to, moving in with my sister and her boyfriend, starting a new job, not knowing anyone besides my sister, my body started to react.

I have been bloated since after thanksgiving, I have been breaking out in hives on my face and my sleep has been greatly affected. All that boils down to is fear and resistance.

I have been through these emotions numerous times and I subconsciously know what to do. However in a state of panic from not sleeping well, thinking clearly has been quite challenging.

Since this new moon and the beginning of December, I have been able to slow down and sit with self. Before bed, I practiced deep breathing exercises and listened to binaural beats on youtube for releasing. That has helped with my sleep along with sleeping with my carnelian crystal sphere, which promotes de-bloating in your sacral chakra.

During the day I have been meditating on releasing old ideas and surrendering. I need to flow down stream and stop resisting. I have been resisting the change and transition and the only reason I can think of is fear. Am I going to make it down here? Am I going to make enough money? Can I afford to live in this type of area? There are so many things to do and place to go…

I am blocking myself and it’s uncomfortable, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have been talking to self about why this is so different than everywhere else, when I realized it’s because I say I am only here till march 1st. Then I’m off on the trip of a lifetime. So now I have given myself, subconsciously a deadline to which, what if I fail….

No matter what life throws at us, as long as you try, there is no failing. You only die once and you live everyday…right?! So one foot in front of the other and let it all go….

Release and relax, these are all lessons that I need to grow through at this time. Quite honestly, all week I have been sleeping through the night. Sometimes I can figure out what is going on with me right away and heal it and then there are times when I am challenged with what is really going on.

This is all part of transitioning into a new book of my life and I am totally grateful for these uncomfortable moments; because I can learn from them and be done with them. It is just making me a stronger, more intuitive and a braver being.

Taking my power back, releasing resistance. Allowing the transition...
Feeling Confident and stepping back into my power
Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Travel

Home Sweet Home

The Drive Home…

Normally when I leave from a place of vacation I really don’t want to leave and I typically want to move there. In this case, I really enjoyed my stay and would love to go back and visit but living there is not for me. And as far as coming home, I felt indifferent about it. I didn’t mind coming home and I didn’t mind if we stayed an extra day. That is new for me.

Driving back was nice too. It was easy and easy going. However, the border back into the US was completely opposite of going into Canada. The guy was stern and fierce. Why were we here where are we from, where are we going, did you bring anything back, take off your sunglasses, roll down the windows, sign your passport (because I forgot to do such things). He reached in the car window and opened up our cooler, which was fine and dandy but I felt that if we said anything that he didn’t like, he would have pulled us out of the car for sure. He seemed kinda angry. lol. We left him with love and light.

We stopped several times for several different reasons, after all it was a 9 hour drive. We talked, we looked for moose, we danced, we sang and the best part is that with your best friend you can sit in silence and not have to feel obligated to hear yourself talk to clear silence. I’m sure we have all been there.

Reflecting back on this trip, I am beyond grateful to have had this experience with my best friend. There were ups, downs and circles in every aspect of this trip. For me this trip was meant to be relaxing and a reboot. It was definitely a reboot, for sure. I released a lot of old energy that I didn’t know I had. I will choose not to say it was relaxing, although there were times of relaxation. It was a really heavy trip, spiritually, emotionally, physically- mainly because of all the gloriously delicious food we ate; and mentally.

As I sit here and write this I look out my window and I am so grateful for the intimate conversations I had all weekend and all the suggestions pointed out to me. I took it all in and I am able to make self changes where I see fit. Since I have been home, the first thing in order was detoxing! I have changed the way I eat for starters and I’ve started to write again including journaling. That’s a whole other story.

Anyways, great things came from this trip and I am so blessed to have a best friend like Krysta.

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Spring Awakening

February is finally over. Let me just recap this past month for you from my own experiences. Feb 1st (a Friday) I went on an interview that wasn’t my idea, nor my soul’s idea. However, living with your parents for the first time in decades, their idealisms began to seep into my subconscious; making me believe that I needed another job and that I should go get one.

Over the weekend I came to the realization that it wasn’t mine. The interview, the idea was not mine. Monday or Tuesday I replied to their offer of acceptance and turned them down. The next morning I wake up with a locked back.

The following week, almost 99% healed, I slip on the ice and end up with whiplash for the next week. As a matter of fact, it was Valentines Day. I slowly heal from that and by the following week I am 100% better just to begin having car issues.

Literally a week to that day happened to be Friday the 1st, March. My car died. Oh my what a month.

February was a month of deep inner reflection. I honestly feel that it was for releasing my past and everything that no longer serves me now. Thoughts, beliefs, anything that had low vibrating energies were released, forcefully. lol.

Gratitude for becoming aware of all of these things allowed me to step into the light and see things, again, in a new light. In a more loving and compassionate way, with gentleness and ease.

Today marks a mercury retrograde. March 2nd, I declared that this retrograde is going to come and go with ease and grace. I am going to be shining inside and out, radiating positivity and nothing can get me down.

I just created a vision board last night. When I create vision boards, my intentions are to create, what inspires me and subconsciously everything that ends up on my boards is everything I need to hear, see or understand. This particular vision board is all about awakenings and standing in the light, being authentically me. Starting fresh, renewed, Spring awakening!

vision board
Spring Awakening 2019

And spring is literally around the corner. Having my vehicle die when it did, made me realize that I had been holding onto California for what it represented. I had been living in California on and off for my entire life. This most recent venture was for 7 years. The only other ID I’ve had was NH when I got my drivers license. I’ve lived in many states and only ID’d myself in 2. That changed in January when I became an official Maine state resident. And I never changed over my vehicle info, I was going to wait till the tags ran out but my car died before that happened.

me and my car
Just outside of Chaco Canyon New Mexico. September 2018

So looking back, subconsciously, I didn’t want to want to lose that part of me; the California identity. I already changed my ID and to change my car over it would feel permanent and my identity lost.

It took me till just now to realize this…Thank you for allowing me to spill and let it roll. That’s a huge revelation and gratitude is all I have. Wow…

Now is the time to let go. I release, and so it is. Gone

I am 100% ready for my new life and new energy.

Love, Light and Healing,

Budderflie