Metaphysical

If its not one thing…

This month has been very interesting so far…

Ever feel like it’s just one thing after another? Well, this month has been like that for me and its only been 14 days.

Feb 2 I had an art show at a holistic expo. I met a woman named Rebecca Packard. Wasn’t exactly sure what she did as far as her services go. But this is what she does…

Rebecca Packard- Certified Body Code & Emotion Code Practitioner.

http://www.rebeccapackard.com

Whatever that means, right?!

Well, I wanted to know. She asked me what I wanted cleared, blockages wise. I said abundance. We can all use that, just saying. Anyways, I allow her into my energy field and I started to ask her questions. She was in her zone and started saying words out loud. I felt the need to write them down. By the end it was a rather large list I had written and she looks at me and says, you are released and cleared of that list you wrote down. I look at the list and was like, ok, I’m going with it. She explained how I keep myself safe from allowing those things happen to me again and that was that.

After leaving her, I physically felt different. We described as emotionally drunk. I literally felt like I was buzzed but had nothing to drink. It was really cool to try something different. I have added her to me support team, as I feel it’s important to have people help the healers.

By the end of the weekend I noticed I had a huge bruise on my left calf. Weird because I don’t recall banging my leg against anything. I let it go as it got blacker and bluer.

Sunday night I checked my emails before bed, I don’t suggest doing that by the way, and I read an acceptance letter from an interview I had on that previous friday, Feb 1st. Thats great that I got the job and all but my soul knows what I need. When my work schedule changed to only working 3 shifts a week. I was grateful. I can have more ME time. My hearts desire said we will not be getting another job so we can do just that, self-care and love. That was back in Dec maybe.

The only reason I went on this interview, as it turns out, was because now that I live with my parents, their belief systems do not match mine. Some of the things would say to me crept into my subconscious mind and next thing you know I’m beginning to think, I have no money, OMG! I need a job, all in a frantic. Rebecca helped clear their belief systems out of me.

So when I read the email before bed, I was so nervous about how I was going to respond. So much so that I woke in the morning and my center lower back was locked. Not like sciatica problems, like disc problems. I could barely move.

Lower back issues have to do with security, finances, stability, fear. Needless to say I had to figure out exactly what was going on and I did. My parents old belief systems and my fear of how to respond. Becoming aware of what your body is telling is huge. When things like this happen, that’s what I try to do immediately so I am not in pain.

So after meditating on it and asking my guides for their assistance my back started to feel better, I did also go to the chiropractor because that always helps!

So right in the end of my healing for my back, my pelvic area begins to hurt, which then became excruciating. I was laid up on the floor where I had been stretching my back for the past week and my mom comes in and says, are you ok? Did it get worse? I told her it has nothing to do with my back, but it certainly was affecting it, for sure.

I texted my friends in California, asking for their help. They both responded, saying that basically I havent truly given myself full attention, it was suggested to feed my goddess. Like if you don’t wear lipstick to work, start. I have been wanting a pedi-cure, so i am going to go get one. Self Love, Self Care, Self Pamper. Wine and dine myself, if you will.

Which makes absolute sense. That all happened yesterday. After we figured that out, my pelvic area started to not hurt so bad.

I woke up this morning feeling great. I went outside to go see about moving my car, from all the ice and snow, I don’t even make it to my car and I slip and fell totally on my back. Thank god I had my hood on because I smacked that pretty good.

I feel that my fall this morning had to do with reminding me what I need to do. Feed my goddess. I woke up feeling great, thinking nothing of going through my morning routine. Not thinking about what yesterdays events taught me. So for me to slip on this ice was a solid reminder that the information rcvd yesterday has solidified into a compact state so that I may internalize it.

I look up everything, someone has been through exactly what I have been through so somewhere out there, there is helpful information. This last one about ice and falling…

http://www.meaningfullife.com

In case you have something you want to look up… I always type in

“spiritual meaning of…”

Usually something that resonates with me comes up.

Love, Light and Healing

 

Metaphysical, New Beginnings

New Town New Beginnings

I just kind of got settled in my old home town of York Maine. I flew into Boston on Saturday and I will be here till September.

I have settling in and in doing so I wanted to look around for like minded people. So I went on Meetup.com where I had found most of my like minded friends in California. I found a local meetup in Portsmouth, NH for a sound and reiki healing meditation. I had no expectations walking into it.

There ended up being 3 reiki masters including myself, we went around the room to about 15 or so people. We each did reiki on someone, I happen to work on 4 women. It was a mix of men and women.

It was great, I enjoyed helping these women. At the close of the meetup, I went to each of the women that I performed reiki on and told them what I felt and saw. One woman cried as she hugged me in gratitude. I was able to meet each of their spirit guides and share them with the ladies, individually of course.

My spiritual coach/ friend/ teacher/ guide and I did the ceremony last Wednesday before I left California to start on my new journey, she looked at me and said you are about to start your journey over there as a teacher. You are no longer a student. And she is right, everything that I am doing or saying is affecting the ones close to me. For the greatest and highest good.

I am truly blessed to be on this new journey and very excited to meet new people. This is no longer a chapter in a book, this is definitely a sequel.

Love, Light and Healing

Blog, Metaphysical, New Beginnings, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Cactus Ceremony

After some time of not having internet access, I am back. This past Wednesday I participated in a Cactus Ceremony.

The intention for Cactus Ceremony is to open your heart space and allow healing. You are asked to come with your personal intentions on what you would like to heal.

For me, my intention was to heal everything that hasn’t been cleared (energetically) from my past up unto this point. So that I may move forward free and clear, open and ready to receive.

In my life at this time, I was preparing to leave Central California and go back East to see my mom and my step dad (Whom I’ve only started talking to in the past year, after 2 years of not speaking). I have healed all of my childhood wounds that came forward, however there are a several things that have been brought to my attention and in my recent past that needed healing. My intention was to clear that. And I did.

It was a 4 part ceremony. We meditated and spoke of our personal lives and pulled oracle and tarot cards. Every card pulled was on point, more of a confirmation than anything.

 

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Our Alter

 

As it turns out this entire ceremony was based on us trusting, valuing, having confidence, and understanding ourselves. Every card pulled had the word trust in it. We had set an alter and I had placed my shungite Merkabah on the alter and on top of it I placed a little stone with the word trust on it. Not knowing that the entire ceremony would be based on that word alone. Shungite is a beautiful crystal that assists in purification, most importantly for me, emotional balance. I was leaving a place I had come to know and appreciate with amazing people and I was heading to a place where I was not accepted as I child. I am a woman now and I really don’t have many fears, if at all. But nonetheless I was about to embark on a journey of the unknown. Unknowing of the outcome, so this particular crystal found me and I use it daily.

Part of the trusting, is listening to yourself. When something doesn’t sit right with you, why? what is the feeling? The sooner I can recognize the sooner I can adjust it and work on it and it will dissipate. Awareness is the key factor. If you are not aware then there is no way you can trust yourself. Because trusting yourself is listening to yourself. It really is a beautiful thing.

The last segment of the ceremony is, how can I assist the Cactus medicine in it’s healing. I thought about it for a minute and then it just came out, I am going to create a sacred space for myself wherever I go.

If you are in spiritual awareness you KNOW that you are sacred.

Well, after I said that I started thinking that I can use physical items to help me create these sacred spaces. Then, as if lightening struck, I said no I AM SACRED.

I, at that exact moment, UNDERSTOOD that I am sacred. I can say I know forever but do you really understand? I most certainly do. I now totally understand that I am sacred and I am sacred space.

When we were closing ceremony, my friend was taking us through the closing prayer and the minute she said letting go the candle burnt out. It truly was magical. So many synchronistic things were happening all night and the messages were all so loud and clear. It was beautiful.

After we closed ceremony my friend decided she was going to take a shot. I have not had a drink in 10 years. I quit drinking because my best friend said I had a problem and if I didn’t stop I would die. Then she told me she didn’t think I could do it. So I had to prove her wrong. So I stopped and did the whole AA thing.

I drank because I was running away from my problems. I couldn’t handle them without being drunk. I have gone through so much healing that I no longer have anything that I run from.

So when my friend decided to have a drink, I thought about it. I couldn’t even finish my thought before my spirit guides said it’s ok, you can have a drink. It’s about trust, right? I am so used to being put into a category of Alcoholics that society will judge me if I take a drink. That is my human side if thinking, logical, practical, old ideas and beliefs. I have learned throughout the past couple of years that I does not matter what anyone thinks of you and you just do you. Do what makes you happy and makes your heart sing.

So now the crossroads have become, do I not take a drink because society says I can’t? Or do I take a drink because I trust that I am a completely new within myself?

I am doing me and I listen to myself today! I poured 1/2 a shot of Jameson Whiskey. Every time my friend took a shot I would take a sip of my shot. It was so smooth and so nice. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. After all we were celebrating ourselves and everything that is coming. The new Us. I was truly liberating.

I was able to take a drink because I am not running from emotions or trying to hide and not confront emotions. I can have just one drink if I so choose. I am not the scared little girl anymore, I have grown into a beautiful, soulful woman. I love my life.

 

Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts

New Day New Chapter

Today marks a new chapter for me. Even the generic horoscopes say it is time for Taurus’s to begin a new chapter. Yesterday was my last yard sale and I learned to let go of everything. I jumped in the pool and cleansed my soul of the past and lessons learned.

Today my friend and I, both Taurus’s, did some self pampering. We went out and bought ourselves some very much needed, new flip flops. She got 4 pair and I 5! I was so excited because I was going to put those bad boys on right after we got a mani/pedi!

I have not had a manicure or pedicure for at least 5 years! Today we indulged, much deserved and needed for my new chapter.

Phase 1- Own IT! Embrace your beauty, be confident, be bold, be YOU!

Phase 2- Live IT! Don’t just feel it on the inside, share it with the World! Don’t hide behind clothes that don’t fit or makeup and hats. Rock that body, Don’t hide it!

Phase 2 is what I am currently working on…I let go of most of my old clothing that didn’t fit me and I will be living in my workout clothes and shorts until I go back East where I will go shopping tax free. Which gives me time to figure out my new style! Which I kind of already have but I’m being patient. No need to rush anything. As I need it, I will get it. Hence, my desperately needed new flip flops.

I already don’t wear make-up so that’s easy and I stopped wearing hats because I lived in hats for the past 6 years, while being in someone else’s reality. I dressed like a boy in unattractive men’s clothing and rarely felt like the woman I am. That part of me is gone, I am not that “girl” anymore.

I am a Woman!

I love myself…I am embracing myself

That’s real talk!

Love, Light and Healing

xoxo

Photo Credit: Me, Jennifer Downey

 

Blog, New Beginnings, Thoughts

Completion

Today marks the end of my lessons in letting go. As a Taurus, I hold possessiveness to my belongs. Don’t touch my things, how dare you use my stuff and so on. If you are a Taurus or know a Taurus, you totally know what I mean.

I am in the middle of a major change in my life, which is 100% unknown. However I am moving out of my second apartment in a year after a break up and travelling back East for the summer to work.

While moving out of my ex’s home, I didn’t have time to go through everything, so I took everything. I made probably 5-6 trips total within several days for a couple of hours at a time, only when I was allowed to go over there.

When I moved into the new place, I basically moved into a bedroom but I had a backyard I could store things into. Mind you I love yard sales, so I was able to let go of things that no longer served me.

I stayed at this place of residence for just about 6 months before I had to move out. Due to unhealthy living circumstances, extremely toxic. I really never left my bedroom except to use the restroom and smoke, I always ate out.

I had 4 yard sales before I left. I was moving in with a friend who has her living space exactly the way she likes it. No clutter. No storage. Moving into another bedroom. I was totally ok with that as I was learning how to let go.

I packed my room to the best of my ability, I had space in the hall closet and the bathroom to store some small things. I had no space for all of my art and projects that truly brought me joy. I had to let go of so much. But I found friends that would allow me store my creative works at their houses. Blessed! I choose not to live without joy!

So now after 5 months of living at my friends house, I have been called to go somewhere else. I have been preparing my plate since February, what am I going to do, where am I going, how am I going to get there and so forth.

I have had the chance to slowly go through all of my personal items and slowly release all of my personal belongings including the emotional attachments. This has been the most liberating experience of letting go.

Letting go of personal things that have meaning and emotional ties is not something that comes so easily to the Taurus woman. But I did it.

Today I had my final yard sale. I didn’t sell everything but I was emotionally strong enough to bag and box it up to donate it. Today was really muggy and warm, rarely did the sun peak out and my ex and my roommate came to the yard sale at the end to say hi and deliver something to my friend I was having the yard sale with. It was very awkward for me to be selling things that “WE” had together and she bought. Very weird. But I did ok.

As I was boxing and bagging everything up, every box I picked up had a ton of pincher bugs in them. So weird. But my friend told me that they represent major change and that made so much sense.

I pull cards for myself occasionally and for the past several pulls, they have been talking about completion. My horoscope specifically talked about the end of a cycle on Saturday, meaning today.

This yard sale was my completion, letting go of absolutely everything I could. I then decided I couldn’t handle the heat and everything was picked up, so I was the first of the season to jump into my friends pool. It was freezing yet super refreshing.

Later this evening I was called to pull oracle cards, one in which said Water. It’s meaning, Cleansing yourself of the old for a new beginning. WTF

So awesome. What a day. Surrounded by people I love all day and blessed to have these people in my lives.

Thank you Leslie, Michael, Crystal, and especially my Dad. I look forward to this new chapter, my personal journey.

Love, Light and Healing

xoxo